Friends (TV Series)

The One with the List (1995)

David Schwimmer: Dr. Ross Geller

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ross : I don't know what I'm gonna do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.

  Chandler : Oh, I know, this must be so hard. "Oh no, two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties AND MY DIAMOND SHOES ARE TOO TIGHT."

• Ross : And, uh, then I kissed her.

  Joey : Tongue?

  Ross : Yeah.

  Joey : Cool.

• Chandler : [after doing a list of Rachel's pros and cons]  All right, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?

  Ross : She's not Rachel.

• Ross : [Rachel confronts Ross about the list]  Okay, but look at the other side. Look at what it says about Julie.

  Rachel Green : [Reads]  "She's not Rachem"?

  Ross : No!

  Rachel Green : What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some paleontology term that I wouldn't know about because I'm just a waitress?

• Joey : So how did it go with Julie? Did you break her heart?

  Ross : Yes. It was horrible, she cried, I cried, she threw things, they hit me.

• Rachel : Ross! Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see!

  Ross : He won't he won't. Because, isn't that, the short story, you were writing?

  Chandler : Yes, yes it is, the short story... that I was writing.

  Rachel : Well, let me read it!

  Ross , Chandler , Joey : NO.

  Rachel : Come ON!

  Joey : Hey, uh, why don't you read it... to her?

  Chandler : All right! Uh... It was summer... and it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely grey couch. "Oh look!" cried Ned. And then, the kingdom was his forever THE END.

  Ross : That's it that's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world!

• Ross : That was funny. Painfully funny. No, wait. Just painful.