Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Fake Monica (1995)

Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chandler : [Chandler is helping Joey to come up with a new, more professional stage name]  Joe... Joe... Joe... Stalin?

  Joey : Stalin... Do I know that name? That sounds familiar.

  Chandler : Well, it doesn't ring a bell with me...

  Joey : Joe Stalin... you know, that's pretty good.

  Chandler : You might want to try Joseph.

  Joey : Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!

  Chandler : Oh yes! "Bye Bye Birdie" starring Joseph Stalin! Joseph Stalin is "Fiddler on the Roof"!

  Joey : [Later]  You know, there already IS a Joseph Stalin?

  Chandler : You're kidding!

  Joey : Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people! You'd think *you* would have known that!

  Chandler : You know, you'd think I would have.

• Ross Geller : I just got back from the vet.

  Chandler Bing : He's not going to make you wear a cone, is he?

  Ross Geller : Apparently, Marcel's humping is not a phase. Apparently he's reached sexual maturity.

  Joey Tribbiani : [to Chandler]  Hey, he beat ya!

• Joey Tribbiani : How do you get a monkey into a zoo?

  Chandler Bing : I know this one. No, wait. That was popes into a Volkswagen.

• Ross Geller : [Looking at zoos to send Marcel]  I have a friend who can get him into Miami.

  Chandler Bing : 'Course it's just two blocks from the beach, it's like a total party zoo.