Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Breast Milk (1995)

Lisa Kudrow: Phoebe Buffay

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ross : Will everyone please stop drinking the breast milk?

  Phoebe Buffay : So you won't even drink it?

  Ross : No.

  Phoebe Buffay : Not even if you pretended it was milk?

  Ross : Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.

• [first lines] 

  Monica : [presents baby shoes]  Okay, these were expensive, and he's gonna grow out of them in 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist!

  Phoebe Buffay : Aww! Look at these. Hey, Ben. "Just do it"! Unh!

  [baby starts crying] 

  Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my God! Oh! Was that too much pressure for him?

  Susan Bunch : Oh, is he hungry already? Aw.

  Carol Willick : [starts feeding with breast]  I guess so.

  Chandler Bing : You know, it's...

  [goggling the breast] 

  Chandler Bing : Something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back.

  Joey : [follows after Chandler out]  Oh, uh, I gotta get one too.

  Ross : Hey, what are you guys doing?

  Chandler Bing : We're just hanging out by the spoons... Ladle?

  Ross : Will you guys grow up? This is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world.

  Joey : Yeah, we know. But there's a baby sucking on it.

  Ross : This is my son having lunch, okay? It'll happen a lot, so get used to it. If you have a problem, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it. Come on.

  [guys come back] 

  Ross : Carol?

  Chandler Bing : Carol. I was wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?

  Carol Willick : Sure.

  Joey : [surprised]  Uh... Does it hurt?

  Carol Willick : It did at first, but not anymore.

  Joey : Chandler?

  Chandler Bing : So, uh, how often can you do it?

  Carol Willick : As much as he needs.

  Joey : Oh, okay, I got one, I got one. Uh... If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?

• Monica Geller : [trying to make up with Rachel]  I don't know what else to say.

  Rachel Green : [annoyed]  Oh, well that works out good 'cause I'm not listening.

  Monica Geller : [insisting]  I feel terrible! I really do!

  Rachel Green : [sarcastically]  Oh, I'm sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?

  [Rachel goes into the Central Perk shop and Monica follows] 

  Monica Geller : [trying to make up]  Rachel... say that I'm friends with her. We spent some time together. Is that *so* terrible?

  Rachel Green : [annoyed]  Yes.

  Monica Geller : It's *that* terrible?

  Rachel Green : [very annoyed]  Yes Monica! You don't get it! It's bad enough that she stole the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with! But now... she's actually...

  [high pitched] 

  Rachel Green : But now she's actually stealing you!

  [Rachel cries and Phoebe watches, touched] 

  Monica Geller : [touched and assuring]  Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you! I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you.

  [Monica starts crying] 

  Monica Geller : I mean... you're my...

  [Rachel cries even more, causing Monica to do the same] 

  Monica Geller : [emotionally high pitched]  Oh I love you!

  Rachel Green : [emotionally high pitched]  I love you too!

  [they hug] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [comes over]  You guys, um, I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um... I love you guys too!

  [they all hug] 

• Phoebe Buffay : [goes to sit down after giving Monica and Rachel a hug]  I *really* needed that.

  Monica Geller : [comforting Rachel]  Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but... she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she's just a girl who met a guy and now they go out... and I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her.

  [Rachel emotionally exhales and inhales] 

  Monica Geller : [moves Rachel's hair away from her eyes]  Will you just give that a chance... for me?

  [pause] 

  Rachel Green : [emotionally high pitched]  I'd do anything for you! You know that!

  Monica Geller : [emotionally high pitched]  I'd do anything for you!

  [they hug] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [comes over]  Wait! Wait! Wait! WAIT!

  [they all hug]