Friends (TV Series)

The One with Phoebe's Cookies (2000)

Lisa Kudrow: Phoebe Buffay

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phoebe : Y'know, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that we're trying to figure out her recipe. I bet she's lookin' up at us and smiling right now.

  Ross : Looking *up*?

  Phoebe : Oh, yeah. No, she was really nice to me - but she's in hell for sure.

  Monica : Well, I've tried everything; I give up. I guess I'm not gonna be the mom who makes the world's best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that, right?

  Ross : Aww, Pheeb - come on; isn't there any relative that would have the recipe? What about - what about your sister?

  Phoebe : Oh, no - no, no; I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And that's not happening 'til October 15th, 2032.

  Ross : That's the day you're gonna die? See - darn it, I've got shuffleboard that day.

  Phoebe : That's what *you* think.

  Monica : Well, I mean, what about friends of your grandmother's - wouldn't they have the recipe?

  Phoebe : Well, y'know, I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Toulouse.

  Monica : What was her name?

  Phoebe : Nesele Toulouse.

  Monica : NESTLE TOLLHOUSE?

  Phoebe : Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language!

  Monica : [grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips and tossing it]  Phoebe, is *this* the recipe?

  Phoebe : [reading the recipe on the back of the bag]  Yes!... Ohhhh.

  Monica : I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe, and it was in my cupboard the whole time!

  Phoebe : I know! You see, it is stuff like this which is why

  Phoebe : [looking down]  you're burning in hell!

• Rachel : You know, Joey, I could teach you to sail, if you want.

  Joey : You could?

  Rachel : Yeah! I've been sailing my whole life. When I was fifteen, my dad bought me my own boat.

  Phoebe : Your own boat?

  Rachel : What? What? He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick.

• Phoebe : I just went to my old apartment to get you the - the cookie recipe, and the stupid fire burned it up.

  Monica : No. Why didn't you make a copy and - and keep it in a fireproof box, and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?

  Phoebe : ...Because I'm normal.

• Monica : I want to have your grandmother's cookie recipe!

  Phoebe : You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?

  Monica : Uh-huh, yeah.

  Phoebe : You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family?

  Chandler Bing : Dying people say the craziest things!

• Monica : Wow - I haven't made this many cookies since the 8th grade!

  Phoebe : What was that? For a bake sale, or something?

  Monica : No, just a Friday night.