Friends (TV Series)

The One with Mrs. Bing (1995)

Morgan Fairchild: Nora Bing

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nora Bing : [on TV]  Oh, no, I am a fabulous Mom. I bought my son his first condom.

  Chandler Bing : [back at home]  And then he burst into flames.

• Rachel Green : Mrs. Bing, I gotta tell you, I read every book you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria At Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.

  Nora Bing : Oh, please! Listen, honey, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start off with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and

  [knocks her little fists together:] 

  Nora Bing : bam! you have got yourself a book!

  Chandler Bing : My mother, ladies and gentlemen!

• Nora Bing : [after he stumbled out of the ladies' restroom:]  What is with you tonight?

  Dr. Ross Geller : Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

  Nora Bing : [finishes phone conversation]  Okay, thank you.

  [puts down phone] 

  Nora Bing : It's the Italian hand-licker, isn't it?

  Dr. Ross Geller : No, it's the one he's licking.

  Nora Bing : She's supposed to be with you.

  Dr. Ross Geller : [wryly]  You're good.

  Nora Bing : Oh, Ross, look at me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and you know why?

  Dr. Ross Geller : The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?

  Nora Bing : No, it's because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred and twenty-five pages for a Paolo. Come on, the guy's a secondary character, he's just a... you know, a complication you eventually kill off.

  Dr. Ross Geller : When?

  Nora Bing : He's not a hero. You know what a hero is?

  Dr. Ross Geller : The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?

  Nora Bing : No, it's *you*!

  Dr. Ross Geller : Please...

  Nora Bing : No, really, come on, you're smart, you're sexy...