- Phoebe: You're trying to remember where you know me from? Alright, I'll give you a hint... FROM PORN!... Yeah - your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie.
- Ross Geller: Rachel said you're just using me to get back at her...
- Jill Green: So?
- [starts making out with him]
- Ursula Buffay: [Ursula stars in a porno film] At last, I've found you, Nosfera-tool!
- The Vampire: Phoebe, are you going plunge that stake into my dark places?
- Ursula Buffay: Actually, I was hoping it might be the other way around!
- Joey: [Joey thinks Phoebe has been acting in porno videos] A guy in the coffee shop told me he was a fan of Phoebe's. I thought he was talking about her singing, but he claims she's a porn star. So I went to the adult video store, and picked this up.
- Ross: [taking the video] Let me see that. "Buffay the Vampire Layer", starring Phoebe Buffay. Alright - let's check it out!
- Joey: Guys, Phoebe is our friend. I refuse to watch this!
- [Joey goes over and sits at the table with his back to the TV]
- Ross: Wow! I didn't know Pheebs had that particular talent.
- Rachel: Wait a minute - Phoebe doesn't have a tattoo on her ankle! My God, that's Ursula!
- Joey: [jumping up and turning around] Ursula? Alright! Run it back! Run it back!
- Ross: Boy, Phoebe is going to be pissed. Why is Ursula using Phoebe's name?
- Phoebe: [coming in the apartment] Hi, everybody - what are you...
- Phoebe: [screams and points at the TV] Ahhhhhhh! What am I doing?
- Phoebe: [watching "E.T."] You know what's sadder than this? "Bambi". I cried for three days to that. No, two - 'cause on the third day, my mother killed herself, so I was partly crying for that.
- Chandler: See, now *that* I can understand crying over - but "Bambi" is a cartoon.
- Joey: You didn't cry when Bambi's mom died?
- Chandler: Yes, it was very sad - when the guy stopped drawing the deer.
- Monica Geller: [watching what they think is Phoebe in a porn film] Hold on a second - what's that on her ankle?
- Chandler: Her ankle is what you're watching?