Friends (TV Series)

The One Where Rachel Smokes (1999)

Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing

Photos 

Quotes 

• Joey Tribbiani : [trying to convince Ross to let him appear in a commercial instead of Ben]  Come on, Ross! I should be in this commercial! Even Chandler thinks so!

  Ross : Is this true, Chandler?

  Chandler : Uh... um... Hey, who's that at the door?

  Chandler : [gets up and answers the door; no one's there]  Oh - hi, no one!

  [Chandler bolts out the door] 

• Phoebe Buffay : [carrying two large bulky black bin bags into Joey's apartment]  Is it OK if I leave this stuff here until Rachel's Birthday party?

  Chandler : [standing by the workout with a bottle]  Uh, sure. What's in 'em?

  Phoebe Buffay : [leaves the bags on one of the armchairs]  Um, cups.

  Chandler : Oh good, because we got Rachel 800 gallons of water.

  [Phoebe smiles] 

  Ross : [sitting at the worktop holding a bottle]  Seriously, that's *a lot* of cups.

  Phoebe Buffay : [proudly]  Yeah, well that's 'cause I'm in charge of cups and ice and Monica is gonna *rue the day* that she put me in charge of cups and ice!

  Chandler : You know, I rued the day once. Didn't a whole lot else done.

  Phoebe Buffay : [preparing herself]  OK, time to bring up the rest of the cups.

  [Phoebe opens the apartment door as Joey arrives] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [exiting the apartment]  Hey Joey!

  Joey Tribbiani : [entering the apartment]  Hey Pheebs!

• Phoebe Buffay : [entering Monica's and Chandler's apartment]  Hey Rach, you wanna go get coffee?

  Rachel Green : Oh! I would love to.

  Phoebe Buffay : [excited]  Oh good!

  Chandler : [to Monica]  I'm gonna go too, babe.

  [Chandler kisses Monica and gets up] 

  Monica Geller : OK.

  Phoebe Buffay : [pleased]  Oh good!

  [Rachel, Chandler and Phoebe continue muttering and Phoebe holds the door open as two of them exit the apartment] 

  Phoebe Buffay : Oh I changed my mind.

  [Phoebe closes the door, goes over to the table and takes a list out of her handbag] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [shows the list to Monica]  Let's talk about the party. I have so many ideas!

  Monica Geller : [excited]  Oh! Me too!

  [Monica gets a large black folder from under the sink] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [impressed]  Oh! Look at that!

• Phoebe Buffay : [to Chandler]  Hey! Check it out: Cup hat...

  [Phoebe points to the decorated cup hat she's wearing] 

  Phoebe Buffay : ...cup banner, cup chandelier...

  [Phoebe points around the room] 

  Phoebe Buffay : ...and the thing that started it all...

  [Phoebe holds up a cup] 

  Phoebe Buffay : ...the cup!

  Chandler : [impressed]  Great job with the cups Pheebs!

  [Phoebe giggles as Monica passes by, carrying a plate with glasses] 

  Monica Geller : [annoyed, to Chandler]  Why don't you just go out with her?

• Phoebe Buffay : [ushers Chandler to the round table upon which are three large buckets full of different types of ice]  And did you notice the ice? Look! We have it all! We have crushed...

  [Phoebe points at the blue bucket] 

  Phoebe Buffay : ...cubed...

  [Phoebe points at the red bucket] 

  Phoebe Buffay : ...and dry. Watch...

  [Phoebe pours water over the dry ice in the silver bucket and pretend-smoke rises from it] 

  Phoebe Buffay : [pleased]  ... ah! Mystical!

  Chandler : [impressed]  Oh!

  [Phoebe grins and a jealous Monica watches with her arms folded] 

• Monica Geller : [annoyed]  No one's eating my Tuscan Finger Food because they're all filling up on Phoebe's Snow cones!

  Chandler : [surprised]  There are *Snow cones*?

  [Monica glares disapprovingly at Chandler] 

  Chandler : [pretending to act disgusted]  Snow cones? Yuck!

  [Monica sees through Chandler's pretence but changes her mind] 

  Monica Geller : [points to the other side of the room]  Yeah go! Go! Right there!

  Chandler : [hurrying off]  Thank you! Thank you!

  [Monica slowly walks to the round table with the three types of ice where Phoebe is] 

  Monica Geller : [slowly]  Phoebe?

  Phoebe Buffay : Hmm?

  Monica Geller : [acknowledging]  You really did do a nice job.

  Phoebe Buffay : [proudly folds her arms]  Thank you... for stating the obvious.

  Monica Geller : [admittedly]  I deserved that. I just want you to know that um... we ever co-host a party together and... you can do whatever you want.

  Phoebe Buffay : [quite excited]  You know, Joey's got a Birthday coming up.

  Monica Geller : [interested]  Really? What do you wanna do?

  Phoebe Buffay : [eagerly]  Um, OK. I'd like to be in charge of beer.

  Monica Geller : [disappointed]  Well then there's nothing left for *me*!

  [Phoebe looks at Monica as if to say "I told you."]