- Frasier: Roz, I'm going to tell you something that I didn't learn until I became a father. You don't just love your children. You fall in love with them.
- [Martin emerges from the men's room at Cafe Nervosa]
- Martin Crane: Boy, I can't stand these yuppie joints. Some bozo went through the bathroom, correcting all the grammar in the graffiti with a red pen.
- Frasier: Yes, I noticed.
- Martin Crane: I mean, who'd have that much time on his hands?
- Frasier: Unbelievable!
- Martin Crane: It was Niles, wasn't it?
- Frasier: I'll talk to him again.
- Rick: Hey, Roz! How you doing?
- Roz: Fine, thanks.
- Rick: Well, what can I get you?
- Roz: Uh, I'll have a decaf.
- Rick: Be right back.
- [Rick goes to the counter]
- Frasier: He's a nice kid, Rick.
- Roz: Yes, he is.
- Frasier: Working here to put himself through school, right?
- Roz: Yes, he is.
- Frasier: He's the father, isn't he?
- Roz: Yes, he is.
- Roz: [breaking down crying after finding out her milk expired] Don't you get it? Milk's a staple! I let a staple go bad! Mothers don't let staples go bad! How can I take care of a baby when I can't even keep fresh milk in the house? Kids NEED milk!
- Frasier: Roz, if it helps, babies don't even drink milk for the first year.
- Roz: You see? I didn't even know that!
- Frasier: Well I didn't find out either until after I was a father.
- Roz: Don't you get it? I have to know EVERYTHING! You can know HALF of everything. You can know about the milk and Lilith can know about the booties and the snugglies.
- Frasier: You never met Lilith, did you?
- Bob 'Bull Dog' Briscoe: So, Roz, who's the proud papa? You got it narrowed down yet?
- [laughs]
- Roz: That's nice, very nice. Frasier, will you excuse us?
- Frasier: Yes, of course. Just remember the baby's future, Roz. Try to make it look like an accident.
- [Frasier leaves]
- Bob 'Bull Dog' Briscoe: Look, I was just kidding. I'm sure you probably know who the dad is.
- Roz: Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you remember Janet's party a couple months ago? You got really drunk and I drove you home?
- Bob 'Bull Dog' Briscoe: Yeah... what about it?
- Roz: Well, you invited me up, and I guess I'd had a few myself, because the next thing I knew...
- Bob 'Bull Dog' Briscoe: [terrified] No, whoa - I don't believe this. I don't even remember us...
- Roz: Now calm down, Bulldog.
- Bob 'Bull Dog' Briscoe: No, come on, please, just tell me you're joking!
- Roz: Look, we don't have to get married right away...
- Bob 'Bull Dog' Briscoe: Oh, man! Oh, man!
- [he paces, chewing his knuckles; she caresses his back]
- Roz: I thought you'd be happy about this. I mean, we were wonderful together. When you made love to me, you were so tender and caring...
- Bob 'Bull Dog' Briscoe: Hey, whoa! Ha, ha! "Tender and caring?" No way was that me! Yeah, you almost had me! Good one, Roz!
- Roz: You know more about etiquette that I do. What is the proper length of time you should stay after someone announces to a hundred strangers that you got knocked up?
- Roz: Actually, he took it very well. He's not going to be that involved, though. He moved to Cairo.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Where would he have moved to if he had taken it badly?
- Frasier: Hey, Dad, what are you doing here?
- Martin Crane: Oh, Sherry took her sister to that store across the street to buy some foundation garments.
- Frasier: I think they call them "bras" now.
- Martin Crane: Not these, you don't. You could cross the River Kwai on one of those babies.
- Frasier: Talk to me.
- Roz: I don't even know where to start. Everything in my life is about to change. My body, my love life...
- Frasier: Yes. But it's also going to change in fantastic ways. I remember the first night I brought Frederick home from the hospital. You put this tiny thing into a tiny little bed and you look around and realize that the entire house has changed.
- Frasier: The father of your child is a teenager!
- Roz: Well, of course he is not a teenager! He had a birthday three weeks ago! Look, we just went out for a couple of weeks, and then it was over, there were no hard feelings. It is a little embarrassing, though, him being seven years younger than I am...
- [off Frasier's look]
- Roz: Oh, put your eyebrows down! I've seen your driver's license, and you don't weigh no "one-seventy"!