Frasier (TV Series)

The Good Son (1993)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Frasier is showing his father his apartment] 

  Frasier : Dad, what do you think of that view, huh? Hey, that's the Space Needle there.

  Martin : Oh, thanks for pointing that out. Being born and raised here, I never would have known.

• Frasier : My study? You expect me to give up my study, the place where I read, where I do my most profound thinking?

  Martin : Ah, use the can like the rest of the world!

• Frasier : No, not Eddie!

  Martin : But he's my best friend!

  Frasier : But he's weird! He gives me the creeps, all he does is stare at me!

• Frasier : [a delivery man drops off Martin's chair...]  Dad as dear as this piece is to you, I just don't think it goes with anything here.

  Martin : I know, it's eclectic!

• Martin : We call him Eddie Spaghetti.

  Daphne : Oh, he likes pasta?

  Martin : No, he has worms.

• [after interviewing Daphne] 

  Frasier : Dad, what are you doing?

  Martin : You wanted me to pick one, I picked one.

  Frasier : But she's a kook, I don't like her!

  Martin : Well, what difference does it make to you? She's only going to be here when you're not.

  Frasier : Then... what's my problem?

  [laughs] 

  Frasier : Daphne!

  [Daphne emerges from the powder room] 

  Frasier : You've been retained.

  Daphne : Oh, wonderful! I had a premonition.

  Frasier : Quelle surprise.

  Daphne : I'll move my things in tomorrow.

  Frasier : Oh, move in? Oh, I'm sorry, there must be some misunderstanding. Er, this isn't a live-in position.

  Daphne : Oh, dear. Well the lady at the agency...

  Frasier : The lady at the agency was wrong; this is just a part-time position. I'm, I'm afraid it just won't work out.

  Martin : [standing up]  Hold on there, Frasier, let's talk about this!

  Frasier : Dad, there's nothing to discuss!

  Daphne : You two should talk about this. I'll just pop back in here and enjoy some more of your African erotic art.

  [Daphne is about to go back in to the powder but Frasier stops her] 

  Frasier : Daphne, Daphne - I think it would be best if you leave.

  Daphne : Oh well, alright then.

  [heads for the door] 

  Frasier : Don't be alarmed. We'll contact you. If not by telephone, then through the toaster.

  [Daphne leaves] 

• Daphne : You were a policeman, weren't you?

  Martin : Yeah, how'd you know?

  Daphne : I must confess... I'm a bit psychic.

• Frasier : Dad, I'm not having another person living in this house!

  Martin : Give me one good reason why not!

  Frasier : Well, for one thing, there's no room for her!

  Martin : What about that room right across the hall from mine?

  Frasier : My study? You expect me to give up my study - the place where I read, where I do my most profound thinking?

  Martin : Ah, use the can like the rest of the world! You'll adjust!

  Frasier : [angry]  I don't want to adjust! I've done enough adjusting! I'm in a new city, I've got a new job, I'm separated from my little boy, which in itself is enough to drive me nuts. And now my father and his dog are living with me! Well, that's enough on my plate, thank you. The whole idea of getting somebody in here was to help ease my burden, not to add to it!

  Martin : [looks at Eddie]  Oh, do you hear that, Eddie? We're a burden.

  Frasier : Oh Dad, Dad, you're, you're twisting my words! I meant burden in its most positive sense!

  Martin : As in, "Gee what a lovely burden"?

  Frasier : Something like that, yes!

  Martin : Well, you're not the only one who got screwed here, you know. Two years ago I'm sailing toward retirement and some punk robbing a convenience store puts a bullet in my hip. Next thing you know, I'm trading in my golf clubs for one of these.

  [pounds his cane to the ground] 

  Martin : Well, I had plans too, you know! And this may come as a shock to you, sonny boy, but one of them wasn't living with you.

  Frasier : I'm just trying to do the right thing, here. I'm trying to be the good son.

  Martin : Oh, don't worry, son. After I'm gone you can live guilt-free, knowing you've done right by your pop.

  Frasier : You think that's what this is about, guilt?

  Martin : Isn't it?

  Frasier : Of course it is! But the point is, I did it! I took you in! And I've got news for you - I wanted to do it!

  [on the verge of tears] 

  Frasier : Because you're my father. And how do you repay me? Ever since you've moved in here it's been a snide comment about this or a smart little put-down about that.

  [grabs his coat and goes to the door] 

  Frasier : Well, I've done my best to make a home here for you, and once, just once, would it have killed you to say "thank you?" One lousy "thank you?"

  [Martin turns to face Frasier, who waits expectantly. Martin looks thoughtful] 

  Martin : [to Eddie]  Come on, Eddie, it's past your dinner time.

  [Eddie jumps off the couch and follows Martin into the kitchen] 

  Frasier : I'm going out.

  [Frasier leaves the apartment] 

• Frasier : Well, we'll, er, we'll be calling you, Miss Moon.

  Martin : Oh, why wait?

  [to Daphne] 

  Martin : You've got the job!

  Daphne : Oh, wonderful!

  Frasier : [to Martin]  Excuse me, excuse me, aren't you just forgetting a little something here? Don't you think we should talk about this in private?

  Daphne : Oh, of course you should; I completely understand.

  [she stands up and shoulders her bag] 

  Daphne : I'll just pop into the loo - you do have one, don't you?

  Frasier : [pointing to the powder room]  Yes.

  Daphne : Oh, I love America.

• Frasier : [after Frasier has just met Daphne, Martin's new kooky, live-in physiotherapist]  The whole idea of getting somebody in here was to help ease my burden, not to add to it!

  Martin : Oh, do you hear that, Eddie? We're a burden.

  Frasier : Oh Dad, Dad, you're, you're twisting my words! I meant burden in its most positive sense!

  Martin : As in, "Gee, what a lovely burden?"

  Frasier : Something like that, yes!

• Frasier : Yes. Well, now, perhaps you should start by telling us a little bit about yourself, Miss Moon.

  Daphne : Well, I'm originally from Manchester, England...

  Frasier : Oh really, did you hear that, Dad?

  Martin : I'm three feet away. There's nothing wrong with my hearing.

• [Frasier is playing the piano when the doorbell rings. He stops playing, shuts the keyboard lid, and dejectedly makes his way to the door. Just before opening it, he casts a melodramatic gaze over his apartment: the last moment of solitude. Then, he opens the door] 

  Frasier : [upbeat]  Hi!

  [laughs] 

  Frasier : [Niles enters, carrying two suitcases] 

  Niles : We finally made it!

  [Martin follows Niles inside] 

  Frasier : Ah Dad, Dad, welcome to your new home!

  [Frasier hugs Martin, who does not reciprocate and looks less than thrilled] 

  Frasier : You look great.

  Martin : Don't B.S. me, I do not look great. I spent Monday on the bathroom floor. You can still see the tile marks on my face.

  [Martin takes a seat on the couch] 

  Niles : [to Frasier]  Gives you some idea about the ride over in the car.