Frasier (TV Series)

The Fight Before Christmas (1999)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Quotes 

• [Maris's gardener Yoshi passed away] 

  Niles : He had a heart attack when he was out trimming Maris's elaborate hedge maze. The paramedics never had a chance.

• Niles : Anything else in the box, Pandora?

• Donny Douglas : [after hearing about Niles's break-up]  Did you talk about moving in together, making any long-term plans?

  Niles : This is really bringing out the lawyer in you, isn't it?

  Donny Douglas : The bartender, actually. I was just wondering how big a drink to make you.

• Frasier : Well you know, Niles, if you want my advice...

  Niles : Ooh, you know, you really need to stop saying that.

• Niles : Frasier, I brought those caroling books you asked for.

  Frasier : Thank you so much. Yes, here we are. The First Songs From A Victorian Christmas and Elizabethan Tidings of Joy. Now we're ready to party! Niles, what do you think? Should we start with the caroling or should we hold off until we've played a spirited game of The Minister's Cat?

• [Niles sees Roz and Daphne talking] 

  Niles : Well, there's a Christmas tableau: "Naughty & Nice."

• Niles : Mel...

  Dr. Mel Karnofsky : Niles, please, we're at a party.

  Niles : All right, you're right, we'll talk about it later.

  Dr. Mel Karnofsky : No, no, we'll talk about it now. Just put on your party face.

  [they both stick on fake grins] 

  Dr. Mel Karnofsky : Don't embarrass me - as if I could be further embarrassed after you lied to me last night.

  Niles : I can explain...

  Dr. Mel Karnofsky : Oh, no, no, no, you don't need to. When a man lies about where he's been, it's not hard to guess the reason. So what's the little whore's name?