Frasier (TV Series)

The Candidate (1994)

Boyd Gaines: Phil Patterson

Quotes 

• [At his apartment, Frasier is filming a political ad for Phil Patterson. Frasier is sitting in a chair facing towards the balcony, then slowly turns around to face the camera] 

  Frasier : Oh, hello there. I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. Many of you know me from my radio show, but today I'm speaking to you as a concerned citizen.

  [standing up] 

  Frasier : As a mental health expert, I've been listening to what my good friend Phil Patterson has to say. I like the way his mind works. He's a visionary, and he cares about the little people. That's why I'm proud to say that I'm behind Phil Patterson for Congress.

  [Phil Patterson walks up to Frasier and shakes his hand] 

  Phil Patterson : Thanks, Frasier.

  [facing camera] 

  Phil Patterson : Together, we can live the dream.

  Frasier : Phil Patterson: the sane choice.

• Frasier : [to Phil Patterson]  Yes, you know, I feel very lucky living here. I'd like to say I feel lucky to be a part of your campaign as well.

  Phil Patterson : Oh, it's me who's lucky. It's quite a boost for an underdog to get an endorsement from Frasier Crane.

  Frasier : Oh, I don't know if my name carries that much weight.

  Phil Patterson : Oh, come on, people love you. I've listened to your show. To tell the truth, I've even thought of calling in.

  Frasier : Really? What for?

  Phil Patterson : [hesitates]  Oh, it's... kind of sensitive.

  Frasier : Listen, Phil, as a psychiatrist, anything you tell me will be kept in the strictest confidence.

  [Phil still hesitates. They both stare out at the night sky, not facing each other] 

  Frasier : You know, it's funny how the more you bottle things up inside, the bigger they seem to be.

  Phil Patterson : Well, I've never told anybody this before, but... okay, here goes. Six years ago... I was abducted by aliens.

  [Frasier is shocked by this revelation and slowly turns his head to face Phil] 

  Frasier : Aliens?

  Phil Patterson : They transported me up to their spaceship for a kind of conference. They're very concerned about what we're doing to our planet.

  [Frasier stares at Phil] 

  Phil Patterson : Hey, you were right. Now that I've said it out loud, it doesn't seem like that big a deal.

  Frasier : No...

• [Frasier is once again filming the political commercial just a few minutes after Phil Patterson's revelation. Like before, Frasier is sitting in the chair facing towards the balcony] 

  Director : We're rolling. And... action.

  [Frasier turns around in his chair to face the camera, this time with a horrified look on his face] 

  Frasier : Hello, I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. Many of you know me from my radio show but today I'm speaking to you as a concerned citizen... a deeply concerned citizen.

  [Niles looks at Frasier confused] 

  Frasier : As a mental health expert, I've been listening to what my good friend Phil Patterson has to say.

  [standing up] 

  Frasier : I like the way his mind works. He's a visionary, and he cares about...

  [whimpering] 

  Frasier : ... The little people.

  [Daphne and Martin also look confused] 

  Frasier : That's why I'm proud to say that I'm behind Phil Patterson for Congress.

  [Phil walks up to Frasier, who jumps back in fear this time] 

  Phil Patterson : Thanks, Frasier.

  [shakes his hand and faces the camera] 

  Phil Patterson : Together, we can live the dream.

  Frasier : Phil Patterson:

  [almost in tears] 

  Frasier : The sane choice.

  Director : Okay, cut it!

  Frasier : God, I'm burning up!

  [Frasier makes a mad dash to the powder room to get a washcloth]