Frasier (TV Series)

The Apparent Trap (1999)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Martin : Has the witch gone yet?

  Frasier : Lilith's still here, dad.

  Martin : Oh, in that case, I'll ask you too, Lilith. Has my twitch gone yet? I had some very strong coffee this morning and...

  Lilith : Skillfully done, Martin.

• [Frasier is worried that Lilith is coming on to him] 

  Frasier : Tell you what, Dad. Take a minute and then come back in. See what you think's going on in there and then find some subtle way to tell me what you think.

  Martin : All right, okay. Just give me a minute.

  [a few minutes later, Martin re-enters the apartment] 

  Martin : Oh, excuse me again, I just came back to get an umbrella in case it rains. But I hope it doesn't, because Eddie's just dying to play this new game I taught him. I take off his leash and I say, "Run for your life!" Yep, that's exactly what I say, "Run for your life!"

  Frasier : Thank you, Dad.

  Martin : Okay.

  [starts to leave, then] 

  Martin : Run for your life!

• Martin : Is it that you can't learn or you won't learn?

• Martin : [to Daphne]  Could you just once cook a traditional Thanksgiving meal? I mean, look at this cranberry sauce.

  [points to a dish of nicely smoothed sauce] 

  Martin : It's supposed to keep the shape of the can, quiver a little bit. What are all these little chunks in there?

  Daphne : Those are cranberries.