Frasier (TV Series)
Taking Liberties (2000)
David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane
Quotes
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Dr. Niles Crane : You know the saying, Ferguson. "Champagne after sherry makes the tummy grow wary."
Ferguson : You have your brother's wit, sir.
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Dr. Niles Crane : [shouting from the kitchen] No, Mel, why don't you listen for once? I'm through!
Dr. Mel Karnofsky : [also shouting] I'll tell you when you're through, you spineless twit, and you're not even close!
Dr. Frasier Crane : [awkwardly to his party guests] Opera time! Opera time! On to the show.
[Frasier runs to the door and starts flicking the lights on-and-off]
[Mel and Niles emerge from the kitchen, followed by Daphne from her room - unbeknownst to Niles]
Dr. Niles Crane : That's it, Mel, I'm sick of these games!
Dr. Mel Karnofsky : Niles, don't make a scene.
Dr. Niles Crane : I don't care! I love Daphne! And I'm not putting her through this torture another second! This sham of a marriage is over!
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Dr. Niles Crane : Frasier, I'm... I'm sorry I ruined your evening.
Dr. Frasier Crane : It's all right, Niles. It's a small price to pay to finally see you and Daphne together.
Dr. Niles Crane : [to Daphne] It's true - we're free!
[Daphne laughs]
Dr. Niles Crane : No more hiding! Where do you want to go? Dinner? Dancing? London? Paris?
Daphne Moon : Why don't we go for a walk?
Dr. Niles Crane : Even better.
[Ferguson appears with their coats]
Ferguson : If you'll allow me.
Dr. Niles Crane : Thank you, Ferguson.
Ferguson : My pleasure, sir.
Daphne Moon : Thank you, Ferguson.
Ferguson : It was my privilege, Miss Moon.
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Diane Murchie : [to Mel, after Niles has essentially humiliated her] It's all right, dear, we've known for some time he doesn't deserve you.
Dr. Mel Karnofsky : Well, you've seen what I have to put up with. I've tried so hard, I really have.
Lois Fisher : I don't know how you've put up with him this long.
Dr. Mel Karnofsky : I just want out.
Ted Fisher : Don't worry, I'll handle the divorce papers personally! This jackass will be out of your life by the end of the week!
Dr. Niles Crane : You mean it?
Alan Murchie : [to Frasier] See you around, Crane.
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Dr. Niles Crane : Uh, Mel, may I see you for a moment?
Dr. Mel Karnofsky : Uh, well actually I...
Dr. Niles Crane : [quickly cutting her off] Yeah, thank you, thank you, excuse us, excuse us, just one second.
[Niles leads Mel into the kitchen. Ferguson sees them and quickly exits]
Dr. Niles Crane : New Year's Eve with you? Are you out of your mind?
Dr. Mel Karnofsky : Keep your voice down!
Dr. Niles Crane : Look, I have gone along with this charade because I hurt you, but now you're just dragging it out to be vindictive. I'm not going to tolerate it any longer.
Dr. Mel Karnofsky : Oh, really? And what are you going to do about it?
Dr. Niles Crane : Keep pushing me, you'll find out.
Dr. Mel Karnofsky : Don't threaten me. You made a promise, and you're going to keep it!
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Dr. Niles Crane : We attended Colonel Turner's very large very high Episcopalian funeral, during the course of which my cell phone rang repeatedly. I was not allowed to answer it and Mel had set the ringer on La Cucaracha.
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Dr. Niles Crane : I saw him first!
Dr. Frasier Crane : You've had a gardener and a maid!
Dr. Niles Crane : Yes, but never a butler!
Dr. Frasier Crane : But it's my turn!
Dr. Niles Crane : But it's my dream!
Dr. Frasier Crane : Daphne won't have to clean anymore!
Dr. Niles Crane : [smiles and puts his phone away] I tip my cap, sir.
