Frasier (TV Series)

Space Quest (1993)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Thank you, Niles. You're a good brother and a credit to the psychiatric profession.

  Dr. Niles Crane : You're a good brother, too.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Dad! Dad! I can't read my paper! Eddie keeps staring at me!

  Martin Crane : Just ignore him.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I'm trying to!

  Martin Crane : I'm talking to the dog!

• Daphne Moon : Remind me again. Which one of Kyle's eyes is really looking at me?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : The brown one.

• Martin Crane : [starting a timed discussion]  So, how about those Seahawks?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [pings timer]  No sports.

  Martin Crane : Okay, no opera.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Niles, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't read my book. I can't have my coffee. I can't have any peace in my own home.

  Dr. Niles Crane : So, what you're saying is that you want to be closer to Dad. You just don't actually want him around.

• [about "eggs in a nest"] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Ah, yes, the Crane family specialty. Two fat-fried eggs, dripping with grease, swimming in fat, with thick pieces of bacon and mayonaise on a piece of white bread, no crust. I can practically hear my left ventricle slamming shut even as we speak.

• Leonard : [on the phone/on the air]  ... now I'm afraid to go outside at all. I haven't seen another person in eight months.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, Leonard, it sounds like you may have a very serious condition known as agoraphobia, but you're not alone.

  Leonard : But I am alone, Dr. Crane.

• Martin Crane : You want to establish this great father-son relationship. Well, that kind of thing takes a couple of years, not a couple of days.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : A couple of years, eh?

  Martin Crane : Ah, it'll go by before you know it.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Either that, or it'll seem like eternity.

• Martin Crane : What do you say to a beer?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, I'd love to have a beer with you, Dad.

  Martin Crane : Well, then you'd better haul ass. The store closes in ten minutes.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : [Imitating The Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz]  I'll get him for this. And his little dog, too!

• [It is morning at Frasier's apartment. Frasier, still half asleep, walks in to the living room wearing a robe. Meanwhile, Daphne is busy cleaning the dining table] 

  [opening lines] 

  Daphne Moon : Oh, good morning, Dr. Crane. Not a morning person, are we? Well, never you mind. I am. Can't very well be a good health care provider if you're not up with the cock. I've already taken your father for his morning constitutional. Such a remarkable man - thirty years on the police force. I can understand why you'd want him to live here, although not many sons would do that, not without getting paid for it. Anyway, coffee's made, and I took the liberty of doing a shop. They don't serve much tripe in Seattle, do they?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [still tired]  And you are...?

  Daphne Moon : Daphne. Daphne Moon. I moved in yesterday. You hired me to take care of your father.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [realizing]  Of course. You'll have to forgive me, I'm not quite myself until I've shaved and showered.

  Daphne Moon : Oh, yes. I completely understand about one's morning ablutions. I, for instance, can't stand myself 'til I floss all that gunk out of my teeth...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [interrupting]  Miss Moon! For future reference, if you could just keep your ablutions on a need-to-know basis? Thank you.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Dad will you... Listen, I don't want to offend, but if you wouldn't mind, could you just leave me alone, let me read my book?

  Martin Crane : No problem.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [Martin sits quietly, not looking as Frasier reads. This finally irks Frasier]  What are you doing?

  Martin Crane : I'm leaving you alone.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, it's very annoying!

• Dr. Niles Crane : Hello there, Frasier.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, what fresh hell is this?