Frasier (TV Series)

Something Borrowed, Someone Blue: Part 1 (2000)

Anthony LaPaglia: Simon Moon

Quotes 

• Daphne : Simon!

  Simon Moon : Hello, sis.

  Daphne : I thought you were in California.

  Simon Moon : Yeah, well, those friends I went to surprise were out of town. So I decided to housesit for 'em, which was lovely. 'Til they came home last night. I don't know what all the screaming was about, I was the one in the tub! Where should I put this bag?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : By the door so you don't forget it when you leave.

  Simon Moon : Right. I think I know everyone here.

  [spots Roz] 

  Simon Moon : Or do I? And what would your name be then, Miss?

  Roz Doyle : Simon, you low-life idiot! You made a date with me last week and you stood me up!

  Simon Moon : Sorry, love, I need a bit more to go on.

  Roz Doyle : Maybe this'll refresh your memory.

  [slams the door in his face] 

  Simon Moon : Roz! Of course!

• Simon Moon : Thank you Marty, it's most hospitable of you.

  Martin Crane : Well, you gotta have a place to stay...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Stop right there! He cannot stay here! The man is loud, ill-mannered, and the last time he stayed here he killed a ficus tree on the downstairs neighbor's balcony by means which are best left to the imagination!

• Simon Moon : [Niles is at the door, wearing a large grin]  Well, by the look of that smile on your face, I'd say somebody got himself a bit last night.

  [gestures lewdly with arms] 

  Niles : [looking shocked and appalled]  I find that remark rude, boorish, and IMPOSSIBLE TO DENY!

  [Breaks out laughing] 

• Martin Crane : Can I offer you a beer?

  Simon Moon : Oh, I hate to drink alone. Can I have a sandwich with that?