Frasier (TV Series)

Something About Dr. Mary (2000)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Frasier : A cat can have kittens in the oven, but that don't make 'em biscuits!

  [look of horror] 

  Frasier : Oh dear God, I'm quoting Grandpa Willie!

• Niles : Oh, come now, Frasier. You can't deny a certain measure of guilt living as you do in your exclusive lily-white world.

  Frasier : Niles, owning the CD of "Ella Sings Gershwin" does not qualify you as a soul brother.

• Frasier : What, am I getting too uppity for you? You sherry-swilling, opera-loving, Armani-wearing elitist. You have no idea how difficult it is for a black woman in a white man's world.

• Frasier : Thank you for your call, Jill. Well, Chuck, who else is on the line?

  Chuck : Well, Doctaw Cwane, we have Winda on wine fwee who bewieves people are waffing at hew!

  Frasier : [trying to contain his laughter]  Maybe we can just come back to that one, shall we?

  Chuck : All witey!

• Roz Doyle : Chuck Ranberg said he'd take over for the week.

  Frasier : No, no, absolutely not, Roz! The man's speech impediment will make me giggle all week long.

  Roz Doyle : Show a little compassion!

  Frasier : Oh come on, you try dealing with a call screener who says, "Doctaw Cwane, we have a kweptomaniac on wine fwee."

  Roz Doyle : Well, who do you want to use?

  Frasier : Well, actually, I was thinking of reaching out to the community. You know, I was guest speaker last month at a program called "Second Start." They offer career training for people who are stuck in tedious, low-paying jobs. And, well, I'd thought I'd give the job to one of those students.

  Roz Doyle : That's a great idea, Frasier. Sounds like a great program.

  [Chuck enters] 

  Frasier : Oh, dear, there's Chuck Ranberg. Roz, you've got to tell him he doesn't have the job.

  Roz Doyle : Why can't you tell him?

  Frasier : I'm sorry, I can't hear the man speak without just descending into giggles!

  Roz Doyle : Oh, you are such a child!

  Chuck : Hi, guys!

  Roz Doyle : Hey, Chuck, how's it going?

  Chuck : Oh, tewwible, Woz! My wife was in the Cawwibean and she weft me for a Wastafawian!

  [Roz starts laughing uncontrollably as Frasier pats her arm, trying to cover up by pretending she is crying] 

• Niles : My first roommate at Yale was black!

  Frasier : Huntington Treadwell III is hardly representative of the African-American experience, Niles.

  Niles : His father was a pioneer in Selma and Montgomery.

  Frasier : Yes, I believe he built golf courses all over the South!

• Frasier : You know, I hate to be a stickler here, but as Mary would be the first to point out, she is not a doctor.

  Dr. Mary : Oh, I don't mind. Call me Dr. Mary. You know Latifah's not a real Queen, right?