Frasier (TV Series)

Roz's Turn (1997)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Quotes 

• Roz : It's not like she worships the devil.

  Frasier : Well, she doesn't have to. He worships her.

• Roz : How could you have done that?

  Frasier : Well, it was just an offhand remark, how did I know how she'd react?

  Roz : She's Bebe! If you had said you liked my eyes, they would have been on your desk tomorrow in a Tiffany box!

• Frasier : Roz, listen to me, for God's sake. If you've got the tiniest shred of sense or dignity left, remember what this woman did to you this afternoon and renounce her. She has no scruples, no ethics, and no reflection.

• Frasier : [in pirate's voice for Roz's demo tape]  Well, when my mates and I put in to port after several weeks at sea, the first thing we do is...

  Niles : [in pirate's voice]  Head for the antique sales.

• Frasier : My God, you should have heard my first audition tape. I was so inept it was incredible.

  Roz : That's true.

  Frasier : Well... oh, you mean, well, you heard it. Well, all right, so you see...

  Roz : There was a bootleg copy floating around the station for months.

  Frasier : Well, fine, so you get my point then...

  Roz : People still play it at parties.

  Frasier : Well, all right, Roz!

• Frasier : [Frasier is writing a check for Niles' charity]  All right, who should I make this out to?

  Niles : [Frasier writes as Niles speaks]  The Esmeralda... Bing... International... Doll Museum.

  Frasier : [Frasier puts his checkbook away and rips the check up]  You do have a problem!

  Niles : I thought you prided yourself on supporting the arts!

  Frasier : The arts, Niles, not the crafts!

• Martin : So, hey Roz, I hear you're trying out for a new job?

  Roz : Yes, as a matter of fact I am. And you can really help me with my demo.

  Martin : What do I do?

  Roz : I just want an honest answer. I want to talk to you about first dates.

  Martin : OK.

  Niles : [snickering]  Are you sure Dad's the best candidate for this particular subject?

  [Frasier also laughs] 

  Martin : Quick survey: how many Crane men here with a girlfriend?

  [He raises his hand. Frasier and Niles stop laughing] 

  Martin : No, no, keep 'em up while I count!

  Frasier : All right!

• Niles : As you know, ever since I moved into the Montana I've been angling to meet our most famous tenant: Esmeralda Bing, the Walnut Queen. Well, I finally cornered her in the ornamental garden, by the wishing well, and I felt very pleased with myself - that is until the Walnut Queen invited me to a ball. Now I have a problem.

  Frasier : Yes, your life has become an operetta.