Frasier (TV Series)

RDWRER (2000)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Daphne Moon : This is for you, from the DMV.

  Martin : Oh-ho, I know what this is, the custom plates I ordered for my Winnebago!

  [holds them up] 

  Martin : Yay! Well, fifty bucks, but I think it says it all.

  Frasier : "Erd... whirr-er"?

  Daphne Moon : "Rid Worry-er"?

  Frasier : "Red Wearer"!

  Martin : Oh, for God's sake! "Road Warrior!"

  Daphne Moon : Of course! For a retired man with a cane and a Winnebago, I don't know why my mind didn't go straight to it.

• Frasier : I can't stand this. Have we so offended the Millennium gods that they will do anything to ruin this evening? Burn down our restaurant? Hurl vindictive lawmen and duplicate Winnebagos in our path to confound us?

• Niles : Cancel the millennium! Chez Henri has burned down!

  Frasier : Burned down?

  Niles : Apparently, Henri was caramelizing a huge crËme brulÈe in the shape of Puget Sound when a sugar spark ignited a thirty foot papier machÈ "Space Needle." They're already calling it the worst centerpiece disaster in the history of Seattle.

• Frasier : [answers phone]  Hello?

  Niles : [on phone]  Frasier?

  Frasier : Yes?

  Niles : Niles. Put your fears to rest. I've got Dad's Winnebago back!

  Frasier : Niles, what on earth are you talking about? You must've had a nightmare.

  Niles : Indeed I have, but it's over now, and I've managed to give the thugs a taste of their own thieving medicine!

  Frasier : [sees that Niles is not in the back of the Winnebago and gasps]  Niles! Niles, where are you calling from?

  Niles : From behind the wheel of the Road Warrior! And doing a damn fine job driving, I might add!

  Frasier : But *I'm* in the Road Warrior! You got in the wrong car, you idiot! You've STOLEN a Winnebago!

  Niles : Oh, don't be absurd...

  [sees pictures of an old lady with her grandkids and a mug reading 'World's Greatest Grandma'] 

• Martin : You kids used to love eating there. You'd scream out at me, "Dad, pull over, quick, pull over!"

  Frasier : Actually, Dad, that was after we ate.

• Roz Doyle : And as for my hangover, it was worth it. I partied my ass off like a brain-damaged test monkey!

  Frasier : I see. Well, allow me to congratulate you on your first science-related metaphor.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Henri built his reputation with that caramelizing torch. My God, the irony of him burning down his own restaurant with it. It's worthy of O. Henry.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, Henri.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [Niles laughs]  Please, Niles, it's too soon to joke.

• Frasier : Hello there.

  [sits with him] 

  Frasier : Could I buy you a cup of coffee? You see, I'm just a wandering city mouse, trying to get in touch with America. Now, you, you look like you be a farmer.

  Farmer : Oh, I get it. You see a guy in a rural diner wearing shabby clothes and you pin your little label on him. Well guess what, I am a farmer. But I'm also a beautiful, flawed, complicated human being, and it's going to take more than a cup of coffee to get inside here.

  Frasier : [Awkward pause]  I'll just go see how my father's doing.

• Niles : Well, maybe we can just stay in tomorrow night.

  Frasier : On the most significant New Year's Eve of our lifetime? I think not!

  Niles : I should have just gone with Mel. She and her mother are taking a hot air balloon through the wine country.

  [Martin and Frasier look at him] 

  Niles : Well, not in the balloon, no, but I could have followed along in the recovery vehicle.

• Frasier : Wait a minute! Speaking of wine, wasn't the wine club having some sort of a party?

  Niles : Yes, at Ken Lauerbock's place in Sun Valley. Oh, it's a huge event.

  Frasier : Of course, "Auld Lang Wine!" Niles, call to see if we're still invited.

  Niles : All right, I'm on it.

• Frasier : [after seeing a farmer sitting at the bar]  Would you order that for me, Dad?

  Martin : Yeah. You're going some place?

  Frasier : As a matter of fact, I am. I'm going to take a chance and reacquaint myself with an old friend of mine: America.

• Martin : Well, you can't do a U-ey on an interstate.

  Frasier : That's twentieth century talk, dad. Welcome to the future.