Frasier (TV Series)

Mother Load: Part 1 (2002)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : You should have been at the condo-board meeting, Dad. You missed all the excitement.

  Martin Crane : Don't tell me: People argued about some dumb building policy and then you all had cookies.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Not this time. I gave the greatest speech of my condo-board career, which led to a vote, which led to the ruling that Cam Winston must now park that SUV monstrosity of his in the subbasement.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Then, we had cookies.

• [discussing Daphne and Niles' moving in together] 

  Martin Crane : Well, I guess from now on it's just you and I.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : "You and me," Dad.

  Martin Crane : This is gonna be great.

• Martin Crane : Hey, you better not let Frasier see you wipe your hands on the couch. He's mad enough that you ate that stuff that he puts on his face.

  Simon Moon : I'm telling you, it was marmalade.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Dad, I am an orator. It is not only that which is said, but the passion with which it is said.

  Martin Crane : You're saying it now and it just sounds like a lot of hooey.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : That's because I'm not orating right now.

• Martin Crane : You think that's smart, ticking off the guy that lives right above us?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Dad, we are protected by this building's constitution. Believe me, I will have Cam cited for a noise violation if he so much as drops a hint.

• [the phone rings and Daphne answers] 

  Daphne : Hello?... Oh, Mum.... Yeah, I'm sorry; I've been meaning to call, but Dr. Crane yells at me whenever I phone long distance.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I do not!

  Martin Crane : Let her say whatever she needs to.

  Daphne : Yeah, and poor old Mr. Crane is so feeble, he can't even make it to the loo by himself.

  Martin Crane : Hey!