Frasier (TV Series)

Moon Dance (1996)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Niles : Just for tonight, could you call me Niles?

  Daphne : When I was in school, I knew a boy named Niles, and I called him Niley.

  Niles : Just for tonight, could you call me Niles?

• Daphne : Our bodies must be in continuous contact, with not a sliver of daylight between us.

  Niles : I can do that.

• Daphne : Don't think, just feel. You're an Argentine slum dweller. You have no house, no car. You don't know where your next meal is coming from. But none of that matters, because tonight

  [music flourish] 

  Daphne : we have the Tango.

  Niles : Oh mama, I've got it all!

• Daphne : I can't remember when I've had a better time. I'm on Cloud Nine!

  Niles : I'd have to look down to see Cloud Nine!

• Daphne : Let it out, let it all out!

  Niles : Oh Daphne... I ADORE YOU!

  Daphne : And I adore you too!

  Niles : WHAT?

• Daphne : I knew you were a good dancer, but I had no idea you were such a good actor!

  Niles : Actor...?

  Daphne : 'Daphne, you're a goddess. Daphne, I adore you.' We fooled everyone, didn't we?

  Niles : We certainly did.

  [finally realizing that Daphne's display of affection for him was an act] 

• Daphne : [Niles has a date with Marjory Nash, the Fruit on the Bottom Yogurt heiress]  What's she like?

  Niles : Well, she's terribly haughty and rumors persist about her husband's death, but still a date's a date.

• Martin : You think I don't see the way you look at Daphne?

  Niles : What are you implying?

  Martin : You know damn well what I'm implying. Take my word for it - you're sticking a fork in a toaster.

  Niles : Well, my muffin's stuck!

• Lacey Lloyd : [with husband]  If there's anything we can do to cheer you up, just let us know.

  Niles : [aside]  Perhaps a murder-suicide pact.

• Dr. Niles Crane : Apparently Maris is going on a three-week cruise. Her friends threw her a bon voyage party. Look at the photo. It's Maris on the arm of Pierson Broadwater.

  Daphne Moon : Oh, Dr. Crane, look! She's just standing there, barely touching him, with only the tiniest bit of a smile on her face!

  Dr. Niles Crane : I know, you can practically hear the zing-zing-zing of her heartstrings!

• Lacey Lloyd : Niles, dear! How are you!

  Niles : Just fine, thanks.

  Lacey Lloyd : Andrew, say hello to Niles.

  Andrew Lloyd : Haven't seen you for ages. Feel just terrible about you and Maris.

  Lacey Lloyd : Oh yes, we were just devastated. Positively everyone's talking about it.

  Niles : Oh, and how is positively everyone?

  Lacey Lloyd : Devastated.

• [last lines] 

  Daphne : [Niles is holding a woman's phone number. Daphne approaches, coat in hand]  Well, are you ready?

  Niles : [looking at the card]  No, I don't think I am.

  Daphne : [He drops it on the table]  I beg your pardon?

  Niles : Er, I mean yes. Uh, let's go.

  Daphne : [She takes his arm, and they start to leave the room]  Well, we certainly had fun tonight, didn't we?

  Niles : [laughing wryly]  We certainly did.

  Daphne : And to think you almost didn't come to the ball! You know, it's such a shame when people let fear stop them from trying new things.

  Niles : [pauses and removes Daphne's arm from his]  Excuse me.

  [Turning back to the table, he picks up the card, puts it in his jacket pocket, returns to Daphne's side and offers his arm. He smiles] 

  Niles : I'm ready now.

  [They leave] 

• Martin : You know, it wouldn't hurt you to go out a little bit every once in a while too.

  Niles : If you're suggesting that I start dating, you can save your breath. Women don't exactly find me irresistible.

  Martin : Oh, come on, Niles. You've had lots of girlfriends.

  Niles : Oh, let's count. There's Maris.

  [Long pause] 

  Niles : Oh, Dora, my childhood pen pal from Costa Rica.

  [Another pause] 

  Niles : I seem to recall a little girl in the fourth grade who lured me to a stairwell to show me her underpants.

• Niles : Oh, I just stopped by to ask you a question. Are you free Saturday night?

  Martin : Sure!

  Niles : [gleefully]  Well, I'm not! I have a date!

• Niles : [practicing the box step with Daphne]  This is boring, yet difficult.

  Martin : Aw, there's no trick to dancing. It's just a matter of coordination. Hell, if you can ride a bike, or skip rope, or kick a ball, you can certainly...

  [He pauses, looks at Niles, gets up, and leaves] 

• Martin : When I was separated from your mother, there was this pretty coroner in the city morgue. I always had a bit of a crush on her. So whenever we'd find a dead body, I'd yell out, "OK boys, I'll take it from here!" So one night, I invited her down to the corner bar.

  Niles : Coroners have their own bars?

• Niles : This morning I spoke to Marta, my ex-maid and current mole. She reports that Broadwater is just the latest in a parade of escorts. The gigolos are swarming around Maris like ants on a Snickers bar!

  Martin : Well, wait a minute, that's good news. If she's seeing a whole bunch of people, that means she's not serious about anyone.

  Niles : You think?

  Martin : Yeah, sure! They're probably just her escorts. You know how she loves going to parties.

  Niles : Yes. And she never liked going anywhere alone. Except to bed.

• Daphne : Snow Ball? Sounds very glamourous.

  Martin : I didn't know you could dance!

  Niles : Oh, I can't.

  [Realizes] 

  Niles : Oh, dear. You don't think she'll want me to? I've taken Maris to dozens of these things, she's never once asked to dance. Of course, Maris dislikes public displays of rhythm.