Frasier (TV Series)

Moon Dance (1996)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Quotes 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, we've got about thirty seconds, I think we've got time for one quick call. Hello, Marlene. I'm listening.

  Marlene : Oh my God! I'm really on?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, your problem, please...

  [sound of dog barking] 

  Marlene : Lucky, Lucky, get down! George, get the dog! Oh my god, this is so exciting!

  [sound of baby crying] 

  Marlene : Honey, honey, get the baby. George, get your son! Okay, okay, here it is, Dr. Crane. If my husband and I don't find some time to have sex soon, I think I'm gonna burst. I may even have to go to a department store and pick up a stranger.

  [sound of man calling "Hello!"] 

  Marlene : Oh, kids! Look who's here without calling first, Nana and Pop Pop!

  [sighs] 

  Marlene : I'll call you back.

  [hangs up] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, to all you Marlenes out there, let me just say that sex with a stranger is not the answer. Why don't you just pack the kids off with Nana and Pop Pop, lock Lucky downstairs in the basement, grab your husband, take him to the sturdiest kitchen table you have, and let the postman ring twice!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Dad, I do not care to know how hard Daphne made you exercise, or about the boring foreign film Niles made you sit through, or about the progress of Eddie's on-again, off-again romance with the ottoman!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Now to the rest of my listeners, I'll be off on vacation for the next week. So please tune in to my replacement, the noted podiatrist Dr. Gareth Wooten. He'll be discussing the virtues of his new book, "Bunions and Blisters and Corns." Oh my!

• Roz Doyle : [as Frasier leaves for his vacation]  And don't forget to bring me a present.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I'll get you a nice t-shirt from colonial Williamsburg.

  Roz Doyle : You're taking Frederick to Williamsburg? Eew!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : No, it's a wonderful vacation spot. We're going to dip candles, tan leather, churn butter...

  Roz Doyle : Hey, Frederick Crane! You just finished the first grade! What are you going to do now? "I'm going to Butterworld!"