Quotes
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[Niles refuses to sub for Frasier during his vacation]
Frasier : Very well. You leave me no alternative but to call in my marker.
Niles : [nervous] What marker?
Frasier : Oh, I think you know.
Niles : You wouldn't.
Frasier : I would.
Niles : You can't!
Frasier : I will.
Niles : That was three years ago.
Frasier : I don't recall there being any statute of limitations. I distinctly recall that when you asked me to go out with Maris's sister, you said that you would "owe me one forever."
Niles : But you only spent one evening with Brie. That hardly compares with what you're asking me to endure.
Frasier : Oh? Shall I refresh your memory? Midway through the opera her ermine muff began to tremble. As it turned out she had used it to smuggle in her adorably incontinent Chihuahua. Just as I thought we'd reached the low point of the evening I suddenly felt a sandpaper tongue licking my earlobe. Alas it did not belong to little Hervé! Fortunately my shriek coincided with the on-stage murder of Gondolfo! Roz will expect you on Monday at two.
Niles : For your information, Brie had a very tough row to hoe growing up. It's not easy going through life with one nostril.
Frasier : Did I mention she had a cold that night?
Niles : ...Monday at two it is.
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Frasier : Listen, Niles, I'd like you to do my show for me, for the week I'm gone.
Niles : Me standing in for you? I'm sorry, Frasier. I couldn't presume to fill those big floppy red shoes of yours.
Frasier : Please, please, Niles! Look, I'm begging you! You know, the station wants to replace me with Helen Grogan, better known as Ma Nature. She does a gardening show, and I'm just a little worried that a week of discussing well-rotted manure will weaken my listener base.
Niles : It hasn't yet.
