Frasier (TV Series)

Everyone's a Critic (1999)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Martin Crane : Remember last week when Eddie killed his first rat? And how proud I was? I told you that story, right?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, Dad, you told us. If you had a guitar you would have written a ballad.

  Martin Crane : Well, we were just down in the basement and I saw another rat. I said, "go get him, boy!" So just as he picked him up, had him in his teeth, shaking the life out of him, and I hear this little bell, ting-a-ling. And I thought, "that's funny - rats don't wear bells!"

  Daphne Moon : Oh, little Robbie Greenberg's missing hamster.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, I read that flyer. He was offering a ten dollar reward.

  Martin Crane : Well, the most we can claim at this point is about six-fifty.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Niles!

  Dr. Niles Crane : Prepare to whoop like a sweepstakes winner! Cancel our dinner! I've scored us two seats, front row, for the event of the season!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You mean...?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Yes!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : But...?

  Dr. Niles Crane : I know!

  [proudly holds up tickets] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Niles!

  Martin Crane : [to Daphne]  I love when they do it this way, I can pretend it's a Seahawks game.

• Martin Crane : So, are you sure you're okay with Niles getting this critic job?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Why wouldn't I be, Dad?

  Martin Crane : Oh, come on, I know what it's like with you two when one of you gets something the other one doesn't have. It's like when you were kids. Niles got a telescope, so you had to have a telescope. You got that funny little guitar, Niles...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Dad, it was called a lute!

  Martin Crane : Oh yeah, whatever.