Frasier (TV Series)

Dinner at Eight (1993)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Niles : Dad's so set in his ways.

  Frasier : Well, we all are, at some point in our lives. Remember when you used to think the 1812 Overture was a great piece of classical music?

  Niles : Was I ever that young?

• Niles : I'll, I'd like a, a petit filet mignon, very lean, not so lean that it lacks flavour, but not so fat that it leaves drippings on the plate. And I don't want it cooked - just lightly seared on either side, pink in the middle; not a true pink, but not a mauve either, something in between, bearing in mind the slightest error either way, and it's ruined.

• Niles : Say, funny thing happened the other day, uh. One of my patients had a rather amusing Freudian Slip. Uh, he was having dinner with his wife and he meant to say, "Pass the salt," but instead he said, "You've ruined my life you blood-sucking shrew."

• Waitress : Hi, can I get you guys something from the bar?

  Frasier : Oh dear God, yes.

  Niles : I'll have a Stoli Gibson on the rocks, with three pearl onions.

  Frasier : If you bring him two - if you bring him four - he'll send it back.

  Waitress : And for you?

  Frasier : The same.

• Frasier : Daphne, this is my brother Niles.

  [Frasier leaves to get a photo for Niles] 

  Niles : [turning to face Daphne]  Hmm... You're Daphne?

  Daphne : Why, yes I am!

  Niles : Well, I...

  [Niles walks over to her and shakes her hand] 

  Niles : When Frasier told me he'd hired an Englishwoman, I pictured someone a little more... not quite so... you're Daphne?

  Daphne : It's nice to meet you.

  [Daphne takes her hand away and goes back to sorting the laundry; Meanwhile,Frasier returns with the photo for Niles] 

  Niles : Well, what a lovely accent. Is that, er, Manchester?

  Daphne : Yes. How'd you know?

  Niles : Oh, I'm quite the anglophile; I'm sure Frasier and dad have already told you.

  Daphne : No, they didn't mention it.

  Niles : Ah... you undoubtedly guessed as much when they said I'd spent a year studying at Cambridge.

  Daphne : No, they didn't mention that, either.

  Niles : I guess my father and brother don't spend a lot of time talking about me when I'm not around!

  Daphne : Oh, I wouldn't say that.

• Daphne : Well, I'm off to my poker game.

  [to Niles] 

  Daphne : It was nice seeing you again, Dr. Crane...

  [They shake hands but Daphne holds on for a moment] 

  Daphne : Oh, wait a minute! I'm getting something on you...

  [Niles looks at Frasier, confused] 

  Frasier : [explaining]  She's psychic. We've decided to find it charming.

  [Niles looks back at Daphne] 

  Daphne : You have occasional bouts of colitis, don't you?

  Niles : Yes!

  [Satisfied, Daphne lets go of his hand and goes to the door as Niles watches her, almost in awe] 

  Niles : Frasier... she's phenomenal!

  Daphne : [at the door]  It's a gift. Well, cheerio!

  Niles : Ta-ta!

  [Daphne exits] 

  Frasier : Niles, you've never had colitis a day in your life!

  Niles : I know, but I couldn't bear to disappoint her...

• Niles : Oh, for goodness sake, Frasier! I'm a happily married man! Maris means the world to me. Why, just the other day I kissed her for no reason whatsoever.

• Frasier : [as Martin is leaving restaurant in disgust after Frasier's and Niles's insulting remarks]  Niles! Say something!

  Niles : Dad! The mud pies are coming!

• Niles : The food is to die for.

  Martin : Niles, your country and your family are to die for, food is to eat.

• Martin : Oh, it's supposed to resist wrinkles. They had one in the display window wadded up inside a mayonnaise jar!

  Niles : Frasier, is he our real father?

• Waitress : And now if you're ready, you can claim your steaks.

  Niles : Claim our steaks?

  Martin : You get to pick the cut you want off the beef trolley!

  Frasier : How much extra would I have to pay to get one from the refrigerator?

• Niles : In the middle of dressing for the evening, she suddenly slumped down on the edge of the bed in her half-slip and sighed. Of course, I knew then and there that dinner was not to be.

• Niles : Frasier, do you think we've become snobbish?

  Frasier : You don't see anyone else driving their father out in the street to drink, do you?

• Niles : [about his father]  Outside of our last name and abnormally well-developed calf muscles, we have nothing in common with the man.

• Martin : There's nothing like the smell of charbroiled meat.

  Niles : This aroma's triggering a sense memory. Something familiar. It's... oh, of course, Maris in her home tanning bed.