Frasier (TV Series)

Dinner at Eight (1993)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Niles : Dad's so set in his ways.

  Frasier : Well, we all are, at some point in our lives. Remember when you used to think the 1812 Overture was a great piece of classical music?

  Niles : Was I ever that young?

• Waitress : Hi, can I get you guys something from the bar?

  Frasier : Oh dear God, yes.

  Niles : I'll have a Stoli Gibson on the rocks, with three pearl onions.

  Frasier : If you bring him two - if you bring him four - he'll send it back.

  Waitress : And for you?

  Frasier : The same.

• Frasier : Daphne, this is my brother Niles.

  [Frasier leaves to get a photo for Niles] 

  Niles : [turning to face Daphne]  Hmm... You're Daphne?

  Daphne : Why, yes I am!

  Niles : Well, I...

  [Niles walks over to her and shakes her hand] 

  Niles : When Frasier told me he'd hired an Englishwoman, I pictured someone a little more... not quite so... you're Daphne?

  Daphne : It's nice to meet you.

  [Daphne takes her hand away and goes back to sorting the laundry; Meanwhile,Frasier returns with the photo for Niles] 

  Niles : Well, what a lovely accent. Is that, er, Manchester?

  Daphne : Yes. How'd you know?

  Niles : Oh, I'm quite the anglophile; I'm sure Frasier and dad have already told you.

  Daphne : No, they didn't mention it.

  Niles : Ah... you undoubtedly guessed as much when they said I'd spent a year studying at Cambridge.

  Daphne : No, they didn't mention that, either.

  Niles : I guess my father and brother don't spend a lot of time talking about me when I'm not around!

  Daphne : Oh, I wouldn't say that.

• Daphne : Well, I'm off to my poker game.

  [to Niles] 

  Daphne : It was nice seeing you again, Dr. Crane...

  [They shake hands but Daphne holds on for a moment] 

  Daphne : Oh, wait a minute! I'm getting something on you...

  [Niles looks at Frasier, confused] 

  Frasier : [explaining]  She's psychic. We've decided to find it charming.

  [Niles looks back at Daphne] 

  Daphne : You have occasional bouts of colitis, don't you?

  Niles : Yes!

  [Satisfied, Daphne lets go of his hand and goes to the door as Niles watches her, almost in awe] 

  Niles : Frasier... she's phenomenal!

  Daphne : [at the door]  It's a gift. Well, cheerio!

  Niles : Ta-ta!

  [Daphne exits] 

  Frasier : Niles, you've never had colitis a day in your life!

  Niles : I know, but I couldn't bear to disappoint her...

• Martin : I wouldn't like it.

  Frasier : Oh Dad, how do you know if you don't try it?

  Martin : Well I didn't have to get shot in the hip with a .38 to know I wouldn't like that.

• Frasier : [as Martin is leaving restaurant in disgust after Frasier's and Niles's insulting remarks]  Niles! Say something!

  Niles : Dad! The mud pies are coming!

• Daphne : Well! Aren't you a bobby dazzler!

  Frasier : Well, I'll go out on a limb and take that as a compliment.

• Waitress : And now if you're ready, you can claim your steaks.

  Niles : Claim our steaks?

  Martin : You get to pick the cut you want off the beef trolley!

  Frasier : How much extra would I have to pay to get one from the refrigerator?

• Martin : Sometimes there's nothing like a good steak.

  Frasier : I wish this was one of those times.

• Frasier : I just don't think it's very smart to make rude gestures at other drivers.

  Martin : He cut you off!

  Frasier : That doesn't matter. You do not antagonize a man whose bumper sticker says "If you're close enough to read this I'll kill you."

  Martin : Big talk for somebody in a Volvo!

• Frasier : Daphne, what are you doing?

  Daphne : [Shaking a pair of Frasier's boxer shorts]  Fluffing your knickers.

  Frasier : Look, I appreciate everything you are doing, Daphne, but a man's knickers are certainly...

  [snatches them from Daphne and rubs them against his cheek] 

  Frasier : Oh! Oh! How do you get them so soft?

  Daphne : Fabric softener and twice through the fluff cycle!

  [Hands them back to Daphne] 

  Frasier : Oh, well, keep up the good work!

• Niles : Frasier, do you think we've become snobbish?

  Frasier : You don't see anyone else driving their father out in the street to drink, do you?

• Frasier : Where's Maris? Are you two taking separate elevators again?