- [Niles has finally made love to Daphne]
- Niles: You know the best part, Frasier? It wasn't at all like I had imagined.
- Niles: Help me understand. Why is everyone acting like I've done something wrong? The only thing I am guilty of is loving Daphne, and that's all I've ever done.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, and how did you love her? From afar. You were never in love *with* her, you were in love *at* her. Now, you've been given a chance to experience her in a real relationship and yet for some reason, you're resisting it. Rather than see her as she really is, you keep holding on to the memory.
- Niles: No, that's not true.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Niles, the woman gained sixty pounds! And everyone in the world saw it but you. All you ever saw was a perfect woman in a red dress.
- [long pause]
- Niles: Okay. If you're right, and that's a big "if", why would I do that?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Maybe Daphne's not the only one who's afraid she won't measure up. Maybe you're afraid too. After all, if it turns out she's not perfect, then there's a chance things won't work out. Then not only will you lose Daphne, but you'll have wasted the last seven years of your life chasing an illusion.
- Niles: [revisiting Nile's memory of dancing the Tango with Daphne] I come here often.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I suspect a part of you has never left.
- Niles: Daphne? I want to apologize for the other night. I was rude, and disrespectful, and I'm sorry I hurt you.
- Daphne: Apology accepted. Oh, come here.
- [they hug]
- Niles: Thank you.
- Daphne: You know, I was just about to make myself some dinner. Would you like to join me?
- Niles: I would love that.
- [Daphne heads for the kitchen]
- Niles: Actually, wait, Daphne? I'm going to pass on dinner.
- Daphne: Oh, it's no trouble.
- Niles: Oh, I know that, it's just that... I don't really care for your cooking.
- Daphne: [dumbfounded] What?
- [Frasier and Martin come in from the bedrooms]
- Niles: Well, you're not the best cook in the world. In fact, you're not very good at cooking. At all. Bad, BAD cook!
- Martin Crane: [to Frasier, whispering] What the hell is he doing?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [intentionally interrupting] Uh... Well, we're off.
- [Frasier and Martin head to the door with their coats]
- Martin Crane: [to Niles] God bless you, son!
- [Frasier and Martin head out. Before Frasier closes the door, Niles gives him a thumbs up]
- Niles: [to Daphne] You okay?
- Daphne: How could I be after that horrible thing you just said to me?
- Niles: Oh, I'm sorry, darling. I just want to show you I see you the way you really are.
- Daphne: And who I am is a bad cook, is that what you're saying?
- Niles: No, that's not fair. I, I thought this was what you wanted.
- Daphne: Well it still hurts. I have feelings, you know. I thought you loved my cooking. Well, you certainly could have handled this better.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Dad, uh, what do you say we head out to dinner over at the steak house?
- Martin Crane: The steak house! Really?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: What the Hell. The blood's just been flying through my arteries lately.
- [Roz is thinking of writing a children's book]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Good for you, Roz! You know, I dabbled in juvenile fiction myself. Yes, Niles and I, when we were boys, wrote a series of stories together in which we were the heroes. Along the lines of a Hardy Boys or a Nancy Drew.
- Roz Doyle: The Nancy Boys?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [giving her a hooded look] *No.*
- Niles: Speaking of Daphne, I was hoping you could spare her this Friday. I'm planning on taking her for a weekend getaway, where I think we may be taking our relationship to the next level.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, my God, Niles! You're going to propose?
- Niles: No, not that level, the level before that.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You're going to ask her to move in with you?
- Niles: One more level before that.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, you're already dating...
- Niles: No, that's two levels.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [Niles makes vague motions to indicate moving on] Oh, for heaven's sake, just tell me!
- Niles: Well, you know. We're going to... consummate our relationship.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: What? Well, uh... Gosh, it's none of my business, I just thought you'd already reached that level.
- Niles: What made you think that?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, I don't know. I guess everybody just assumed...
- Niles: Who's everybody?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Nobody.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: But Niles, you have been on overnight trips together, haven't you?
- Niles: Yes. But they were all perfectly chaste. Daphne wanted to wait until the time was right. And well, we've both just been missing each other these past few weeks, I think the time is upon us.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, I'm so happy for you, Niles.
- Niles: Thank you.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Gosh, nobody's gonna believe you two haven't slept together.
- Niles: Who's nobody?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Nobody.
- [the waiter brings Niles his coffee. Putting the cup down, he gives Niles a look and a little disbelieving shake of his head, then leaves]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [recounting to Roz the mysteries he and Niles wrote as boys] And there was the one where our father was kidnapped and the only clue was a dented Ballantine can.
- Niles: The Suspicious Six Pack!