Frasier (TV Series)
Burying a Grudge (1994)
John Mahoney: Martin Crane
Photos
Quotes
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Martin Crane : I got twice the guts he has, and after his surgery tomorrow, I'll have 4 times the guts.
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Martin Crane : Why do animals always drag these kinds of things into the house?
Dr. Frasier Crane : What is it, a rat?
Martin Crane : Worse.
[Eddie runs in with a Barbie in his mouth]
Martin Crane : He found a doll in the park the other day and all he does is carry it around in his mouth. He never did these kinds of things until you got him fixed.
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Martin Crane : Oh, all right, it was worse than any of that.
[pause]
Martin Crane : He told people... I cried at "Brian's Song."
Dr. Frasier Crane : [dryly] Dear God. You always think that's the kind of thing that happens to other people's fathers, not your own.
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Martin Crane : Look, can we drop this? Artie obviously still has an attitude and I've got better things to do than sit around a hospital room taking abuse.
Dr. Niles Crane : [realizing] Oh God, I'm due back with Maris.
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Martin Crane : [about fishing with Artie] One time I reeled in what eventually turned out to be an old bedroom slipper. You know what he did? He just ripped it off the hook and tossed it onto the grill.
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Daphne Moon : What's wrong with Mrs. Crane?
Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, it's nothing serious. Cosmetic surgery. Her chin, her lips, her cheeks, her eyelids...
Martin Crane : Maybe it'd be faster if you just told us what she's leaving alone.
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Dr. Frasier Crane : [answering the phone] Hello? Yes, it is.
[pause, then in morbid tones]
Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, I see. Yes, well, I guess it isn't really a shock, considering. Yes, I'm sure they did everything they could. Thank you.
Martin Crane : [Frasier hangs up] What was that?
Dr. Frasier Crane : [quietly] We'll talk about it later, Dad.
Martin Crane : [worried] Is everything okay?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Why do you ask?
Martin Crane : Well, I don't know. You saying, "I'm sorry" and stuff like "I'm sure you did everything you could" and it's natural to be concerned.
Dr. Frasier Crane : You thought that call was about Artie, didn't you?
Martin Crane : No!
Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, you did!
Martin Crane : So what if I did?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, it just proves my point - you still care about him!
Martin Crane : All right, so suppose I do care about him. Suppose I do feel bad about this stupid fight and want it over. What the hell can I do?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, it's up to you. But if you like, I could drive you down to the hospital.
Martin Crane : I don't need you to lead me. I can drive myself.
Dr. Frasier Crane : No, you can't.
Martin Crane : Why not?
Dr. Frasier Crane : That was your mechanic. Your transmission's dead.