Frasier (TV Series)

Burying a Grudge (1994)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Quotes 

• Dr. Niles Crane : If, uh, if anyone needs me, I'll be sleeping at the hospital tonight.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Why?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Uh, Maris' doctor feels it's more soothing for the patient to duplicate the home environment as closely as possible, so I slipped a pearl-handled revolver under her pillow and got myself a room across the hall.

• Dr. Niles Crane : Frasier. What are you doing here?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, I finally got Dad and Artie Walsh talking again. Of course I did have to resort to cheap, manipulative pseudo-psychology.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Always go to your strengths.

• Martin Crane : Why do animals always drag these kinds of things into the house?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : What is it, a rat?

  Martin Crane : Worse.

  [Eddie runs in with a Barbie in his mouth] 

  Martin Crane : He found a doll in the park the other day and all he does is carry it around in his mouth. He never did these kinds of things until you got him fixed.

• Martin Crane : Oh, all right, it was worse than any of that.

  [pause] 

  Martin Crane : He told people... I cried at "Brian's Song."

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [dryly]  Dear God. You always think that's the kind of thing that happens to other people's fathers, not your own.

• Dr. Niles Crane : I still remember him

  [Artie Walsh] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : inviting us to his house for weenie roasts when we were kids.

  [laughs] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I'm sure he remembers you too, asking for salad nicoise!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : [answering the phone]  Hello? Yes, it is.

  [pause, then in morbid tones] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, I see. Yes, well, I guess it isn't really a shock, considering. Yes, I'm sure they did everything they could. Thank you.

  Martin Crane : [Frasier hangs up]  What was that?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [quietly]  We'll talk about it later, Dad.

  Martin Crane : [worried]  Is everything okay?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Why do you ask?

  Martin Crane : Well, I don't know. You saying, "I'm sorry" and stuff like "I'm sure you did everything you could" and it's natural to be concerned.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You thought that call was about Artie, didn't you?

  Martin Crane : No!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, you did!

  Martin Crane : So what if I did?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, it just proves my point - you still care about him!

  Martin Crane : All right, so suppose I do care about him. Suppose I do feel bad about this stupid fight and want it over. What the hell can I do?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, it's up to you. But if you like, I could drive you down to the hospital.

  Martin Crane : I don't need you to lead me. I can drive myself.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : No, you can't.

  Martin Crane : Why not?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : That was your mechanic. Your transmission's dead.