Frasier (TV Series)

Beware of Greeks (1998)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Daphne Moon : How much longer do we have stay?

  Martin Crane : What are you in such a snit about?

  Daphne Moon : This lot. Thanks to your sister-in-law, they're all sniggering about me being your "physical therapist."

  Martin Crane : Oh, don't let it bother you. She's always been a pain.

  Daphne Moon : You're telling me. Dried-up old grape leaf!

  Martin Crane : Yeah, and she's one to talk about reputations, too. Between you and me, before she married my brother, she was easier to make than a peanut butter sandwich.

• Dr. Niles Crane : It's a moot point. We're not invited, thanks to Frasier's more-than-usually inept advice.

  Martin Crane : Can you imagine what it's like to live in the same city as your brother and not see him for five years?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : No, but I'd like to give it a try.

• [after Martin and Daphne have dissed Zora and Walt, Ed reveals that he hid his video camera nearby, pointing at them] 

  Ed : I wanted to capture the whole family, naturally, just as they are.

  Martin Crane : Well... we were really boring! I mean, why don't you just rewind that a few minutes and then start over?

  Ed : Funny, Mrs. Pappas said the same thing.

• Aunt Zora Crane : Who is this pretty young thing?

  Martin Crane : Oh, this is Daphne Moon. She's my physical therapist.

  Aunt Zora Crane : Oh... that's what they call it these days?

  [slaps him playfully] 

  Aunt Zora Crane : You dirty old man!

  [she moves off into the crowd, laughing, while Martin tries to calm Daphne] 

  Daphne Moon : I've never been so insulted...!

• Martin Crane : I can't believe that because of your big mouth, Zora won't even let me in her restaurant!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Forcing you to go elsewhere when you have one of your frequent cravings for stuffed grape leaves and zither music!

• Martin Crane : You and your damned advice!

  Daphne Moon : Mr. Crane, Dr. Rudnik asked me to monitor your blood pressure, and I'd like to get an accurate reading.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Stop pointing fingers. Why don't we try to solve this problem?

  Martin Crane : I don't see how! She's a vindictive woman, and she's gonna keep on punishing us because of you! If you kept your big trap shut for just once in your life, my nephew would probably be a surgeon now, and I'd be going to his wedding!

  Daphne Moon : There, now: 240 over 11. Sounds about right!