- Dr. Frasier Crane: You met him on a bus, didn't you?
- Roz Doyle: No, actually we shared a cab... alright, he was driving it.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: No, Niles, we are not calling Aunt Vivian.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Why? Are you scared you'll find out something you don't want to know?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes. That she knows where I live and she still drives.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: "How am I doing?" How are you doing, Niles? Doesn't it bother you that your father cheated on my mother?
- Dr. Niles Crane: Frasier, your loyalties are seeping through, and I might point out that I got Mom's small features while you got Dad's chunky thighs.
- Daphne: Have you ever thought about growing a moustache?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: No, I don't think it would suit me.
- Daphne: Oh, yes it does.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You've never seen me with one.
- Daphne: Actually, I have. There's a billboard for your show down on 16th Street. Some kids went at you with a can of spray paint.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Now... we've got a free evening. This sounds like the perfect opportunity for a couple of guys on the loose to, ah... hit a sports bar, have a couple of brewskis, maybe take in a game or two.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Right. What shall we do?
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, that's right. That was the same period where you insisted on wearing the wax earplugs and the slumber mask.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, I had to, what with you underneath the covers with a flashlight looking at the National Geographic.
- Dr. Niles Crane: I was looking at the maps!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: That's what makes it so scary.
- Daphne: Working down at the docks has always been a tradition for us Moons. My father worked on the docks, and me grandfather before him. All my brothers do. Well, except for my brother Billy. He came home one day, and announced he hated the smell of fish and was going to teach ballroom dancing. And he did. And he does. He's my mum's favorite. Dad mostly flicks the crust off his kidney pie at him.
- Roz Doyle: I've got a date tonight.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Why are you only wearing one heel? Did you break it off?
- Roz Doyle: No, I'm dating a sea-captain with a peg leg and this makes it easier when we dance.
- Martin Crane: Lilith had an affair?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: The most painful and humiliating experience of my entire life. I'm sure you felt the same way.
- Martin Crane: Well, I hadn't thought about it for quite some time, but thanks for reminding me.
- Martin Crane: So who was the bozo in your case?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, God. A Frenchman who lived in a self-contained underground eco pod.
- Martin Crane: Well, that still sounds better than a urologist with a bad comb-over.
- [last lines]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You know Dad, ever since you moved in we've been trying to find something that we have in common. I think we've finally found it.
- Martin Crane: Yeah... wish it was a birthmark.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: So do I.
- Marion Lawlor: Anyway, just tell your father I stopped by. I felt so silly crying in front of him the other night. I've been a little overemotional since Dan died.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know.
- Marion Lawlor: Well, you never know how hard that's going to hit you. Oh, look who I'm telling this to, the famous radio psychiatrist, Dr. Frasier Crane. I remember you when you used to run around in your undies with your pail and shovel.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, well I rarely get to the shore anymore.