Photos
Quotes
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[Frasier has fallen into his father's chair, delirious from taking medication for his back pain]
Niles : Oh my God - did you fall?
Frasier : No, I - you know I'm actually quite comfortable Niles! Look:
[Frasier motions towards television cabinet]
Frasier : There's no glare on the television! And here's a lovely place to set your drink!
[Frasier places his hand limply on TV tray and looks up at Niles with wide eyes]
Niles : Just give me your hand and whatever the chair is telling you, don't listen.
Frasier : No, Niles, no! It's helping my back, actually. You know - and when you sit in it, you don't have to look at it!
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Daphne Moon : [Frasier is doped up on painkillers for his back and Daphne is giving him a massage] You took quite a few of those pills, didn't you? You know what's curious, though?
Frasier : Cats!
Daphne Moon : Yes. But I'm talking about our little mix-up. When I said to your father, "Dr. Crane's in love with me," he said it's been going on for six years now. What did he mean by that?
Frasier : Oh that... he meant Niles!
Daphne Moon : [completely stunned] What?
Frasier : Niles... he's crazy about you!
Daphne Moon : [still stunned] Dr. Crane?
[to Frasier]
Daphne Moon : Dr. Crane!
[Frasier has fallen asleep]
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Frasier : [seeing that Eddie has buried his head under a pillow] You know, there are subtler ways of letting a patient know his hour is up!
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Martin Crane : Hey, Fras.
Frasier : Yes, Dad?
Martin Crane : Did Daphne tell you?
Frasier : Tell me what?
Martin Crane : She found out Niles has a thing for her.
Frasier : What?
Martin Crane : Yes.
Frasier : How?
Martin Crane : Well, she said she overheard him earlier saying how much he loves her.
Frasier : Oh, dear God, no wonder she's been so distracted. What did you say, did you confirm it?
Martin Crane : Well, yes, I said I knew about it.
Frasier : Oh, Dad...
Martin Crane : Well come on, what else was I going to say? And then I told her it was none of my business and I took off out of there.
Frasier : [thinks] Wait a minute! How did she even see Niles today?
Martin Crane : I don't know, but she said she overheard him saying he loves her and that he wanted to tell her while he still has the chance.
Frasier : [realizing] Oh, no!
Martin Crane : What?
Frasier : I said that...
Martin Crane : [groans] Oh, not you now!
Frasier : No, no, no, Dad, not that. I was just doing a little exercise to try and help my back and I was talking out loud about how much I was going to miss Daphne. She must have overheard me and misunderstood.
Martin Crane : Who were you talking to?
Frasier : [after a pause] If you must know, I was talking to Eddie.
Martin Crane : [smirks] Helps, doesn't it!
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Frasier : [Frasier throws his back out] I went to see the doctor last week, and he told me there was absolutely nothing wrong with me.
Martin Crane : Oh, doctors never tell you anything. They're just a bunch of overpaid quacks.
[Frasier glowers at Martin; Martin hems and haws]
Martin Crane : I don't mean you! I'm talking about real doctors!
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Frasier : I am not "of a certain age," Niles. I am smack dab in the middle of "not a kid any more." I won't be "of a certain age" for another ten years.
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[Eddie the dog stares at Frasier]
Frasier : What? Do you want to know what's bothering me too? Well, here's a start, I'm talking to a dog, that bothers me. I'm another year older today, I suppose that bothers me, but not as much as people seem to think. I'm still single, that's a big one. Not having a woman to share my life with. The only women in my life are friends; Roz and Daphne. Daphne's not even here anymore, she'll be married soon. That's going to be tough on Dad. Who am I kidding? It's going to be tough on me. It's been nice having her here. Even when my love life hasn't been going so well, I can always come home to a warm and considerate woman. You know, that's probably why I've been so brusque with her lately. I know that once she's gone, I'll probably be twice as lonely... Well, it's quite a realization isn't it?
[Unbeknownst to Frasier, Daphne walks in to the room wearing a robe]
Frasier : I really do love Daphne and I'm about to lose her. I've got to show her how I feel about her, while I still have the chance.
[Daphne, taken aback by the comments, quickly tiptoes back to her room before Frasier notices her]
Frasier : Well, I don't know whether it was the therapy or the painkillers but I actually feel a bit better. Let's try this.
[Frasier pulls himself to sit more comfortably on the chair; Meanwhile, Eddie buries his head under the pillow]
Frasier : You know, there are subtler ways to let the patient know his hour is up.
Daphne : [returning to the living room, acting] Oh, Dr. Crane! I didn't know you were here, I can't hear anything in that shower of mine, it's like a soundproof vault!
Frasier : Daphne, I wanted to apologize for being so short with you this morning.
Daphne : It's fine.
Frasier : No, it's not. It's never fine. Listen, come here, please
[Daphne hesitantly walks over to him]
Frasier : Give me a hug
[They hug somewhat awkwardly, with Daphne keeping some distance between her body and his]
Frasier : Oh Daphne, do you know how much you mean to me?
Daphne : I'm getting an idea!
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Frasier : [having recovered from his back pain] Oh, Daphne, by the way, thank you for the massage, I think it did just the trick.
Daphne Moon : Anytime, Dr. Crane.
Frasier : Listen, just before I drifted off I'm afraid I might have said something I wish I hadn't.
Daphne Moon : [worried] Yes?
Frasier : It's about Dad's chair, it may be comfortable but I still want to get it out of here.
Daphne Moon : [slightly relieved but still tense] Oh, that...
Frasier : Why, I didn't say anything else I shouldn't have said, did I?
Daphne Moon : [Nervously] Well... No, no. And don't worry.
[points at Martin's chair]
Daphne Moon : Mum's the word!
[the doorbell rings]
Daphne Moon : [sarcastically] I'll get it.
Frasier : Why, thank you.
[as Daphne goes to answer the door, Martin walks in to talk to Frasier]
Martin Crane : Did you straighten things out with Daphne?
Frasier : Yes, I did.
Martin Crane : Boy, that was a close one. I almost blew Niles's secret!
Frasier : In the future, would you try to be more discreet? I can't pull your chestnuts out of the fire every time!
