Frasier (TV Series)

A Tsar Is Born (1999)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• [Frasier, Martin, and Niles are all watching "The Antiques Roadshow."] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [coming back from the kitchen]  Dad, did we miss anything?

  Martin Crane : Nah, just some bozo with a credenza who doesn't know a Biedermeier from an Oscar Meyer.

  [They all laugh] 

• Appraiser : [the guys are watching "Antiques Roadshow" and playing a drinking game]  The real clue here is the veneer.

  Martin Crane , Dr. Frasier Crane , Dr. Niles Crane : Veneer!

  [they all take a sip of alcohol] 

• Martin Crane : [to Niles and Frasier]  Well, I gotta go call Duke. But don't get excited, he's not a real duke!

• Martin Crane : Well I guess you would have found out anyway after I died. We're royalty... but, I didn't want you to grow up spoiled, so I abdicated and took a job in Seattle on the police force.

• [Martin, Frasier, and Niles are excited to attend "The Antiques Roadshow"'s appearance in Seattle] 

  Martin Crane : Yeah, I'm going to go and have a little root around in our closet. I bet I can find a nice little objet d'art they'd be interested in.

  [He exits, leaving Frasier and Niles stunned by his correct French pronunciation] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : It's as if that panhandler I gave money to was a genie granting all my wishes.

  Daphne : Would you marry me in this?

  [Daphne enters wearing Donny's mother's wedding dress, which looks like it belongs on a go-go dancer. Niles nearly faints] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [whispers]  How much did you give him?