- Wilma Flintstone: Why, it's been weeks since you had a good word for anybody or anything.
- Fred Flintstone: Oh, yeah? How about last night? I had something good to say about your mother.
- Wilma Flintstone: My mother?
- Fred Flintstone: Yeah, I said it's a good thing she lives 50 miles away!
- Fred Flintstone: Ooh, that Arnold. I tried to like him. I tried to be nice to him. BUT I CAN'T STAND HIM!
- Fred Flintstone: Hey, there's Arnold. I got a score to settle with him. Hold it, ya little pirate! Thought you could fool me, huh?
- Arnold: I beg your pardon?
- [Fred and Barney run towards Arnold]
- Fred Flintstone: You and your special rates. I'm paying 46 cents a week now instead of 45 cents.
- Arnold: You are? Oh, Mr. Flintstone, I apologize. You have a legitimate complaint.
- Fred Flintstone: Thought you could pull a fast one on me, huh?
- Arnold: Well, let's see, now. Six times six for the daily paper is 36, right?
- Fred Flintstone: Yeah, and 10 cents for the Sunday paper makes a total of 46 cents.
- Arnold: When you were paying 15 cents for the Sunday paper, your bill was only 45 cents, right?
- Fred Flintstone: Right.
- Arnold: I'll tell you what I'll do, Mr. Flintstone. I'll let you go back to paying me 15 cents for the Sunday paper. How about it?
- Fred Flintstone: Okay, it's a deal. Now, I'm only being tough for your own good, Arnold. I hope you'll profit from it.
- Arnold: I certainly hope to, Mr. Flintstone.
- [leaves]
- Arnold: Good day and thank you.
- Barney Rubble: Uh, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: Yeah?
- Barney Rubble: I hate to say this, but Arnold did it again.
- [Fred realizes he's been tricked again]
- Fred Flintstone: [to Arnold] Come back here, you... BABY BANDIT! COME BACK HERE!
- [Barney holds him back]
- Fred Flintstone: OOH, IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'LL PULVERIZE YOU! LET ME AT HIM, BARNEY, LET ME AT HIM!
- Fred Flintstone: As of now, I am canceling my subscription.
- Arnold: Why?
- Fred Flintstone: Why? Because more and more, that paper of yours is failing to fulfill its obligation to the public. That's why.
- Arnold: Oh, I don't understand what you mean.
- Fred Flintstone: I mean your comics section has shrunk to almost nothing. Only 15 measly comic strips in the whole thing. You call that a newspaper? Ha!
- Arnold: Well, gee, Mr. Flintstone, I'd sure hate to lose you as a customer. I'll tell you what. I'll give you a special rate.
- Fred Flintstone: A special rate?
- Arnold: Uh-huh. Let's see now. You're paying 5 cents a copy on weekdays and 15 cents on Sundays, right?
- Fred Flintstone: 5 cents weekdays, 15 cents on Sundays. That's right.
- Arnold: Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'll charge ya 6 cents for the daily paper, but only a dime on Sundays. What do you say?
- Fred Flintstone: Hmm. Well, that sounds like a fair enough deal. Okay, Arnold, under those conditions, I'll stay your customer.
- Arnold: I thought you would, Mr. Flintstone.
- [leaves]
- Arnold: Goodbye, gentlemen.
- Fred Flintstone: So long, Arnold.
- [laughs proudly]
- Fred Flintstone: I suppose you think I took advantage of the kid, Barney.
- [walks off]
- Fred Flintstone: But I just did that to teach him a lesson.
- Barney Rubble: Well, Fred, you're paying 46 cents a week now instead of 45 cents.
- Fred Flintstone: Huh?
- [stops]
- Fred Flintstone: Why, that little... He took advantage of me. Hey, Arnold! Come back here!
- Barney Rubble: It's too late, Fred. He's gone.
- Fred Flintstone: Uh-oh. Look who's there.
- Barney Rubble: Who, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: That smart-alecky kid, Arnold, who delivers our newspapers.
- Barney Rubble: So what?
- Fred Flintstone: So every time I see him, we have a battle of wits.
- Barney Rubble: Oh, I get it. You're out of ammunition.
- Pearl Slaghoople: [on the phone] Hello?
- Fred Flintstone: Hi, Mom. This is son-in-law, Fred.
- Pearl Slaghoople: Fred? Don't tell me Wilma has finally come to her senses and is leaving you?
- Pearl Slaghoople: I still think that husband of yours is up to something.
- Wilma Flintstone: Oh, Mother, you're so suspicious.
- Pearl Slaghoople: Maybe, but don't forget, a leopard can't change his spots.
- Wilma Flintstone: Mother, Fred is not a leopard.
- Pearl Slaghoople: Well, a baboon can't either.
- Arnold: Hello, Mr. Flintstone.
- Fred Flintstone: Arnold? Go on home. This is no place for children at a time like this.
- Wilma Flintstone: Fred, what are you saying? Arnold IS our little visitor.
- Fred Flintstone: Arnold? Ar-Ar-Ar-Ar-Ar-Ar-Arnold is our-our little v-v-visitor?
- Arnold: Yes, sirree, and I'm staying two weeks.
- Pearl Slaghoople: And I'm staying for six months.
- [Fred cracks up and collapse]
- Doctor: [enters and knocks on the door] Pardon me. Does somebody need a doctor here?
- Pearl Slaghoople: [referring to Fred] Yeah. That 200 pounds of blubber on the floor.