- Wash's Stegosaurus: Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... "This Land.".
- 'Wash's Allosaurus: I think we should call it "your grave!".
- Wash's Stegosaurus: Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
- 'Wash's Allosaurus: Har har har! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die!
- [the Allosaurus attacks the Stegosaurus]
- Wash's Stegosaurus: Oh, no, God! Oh, dear God in heaven!
- Simon: I'm trying to put this as delicately as I can... How do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?
- Mal: You don't know me, son, so let me explain this to you once: If I ever kill you, you'll be awake. You'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.
- Simon: Are you always this sentimental?
- Mal: I had a good day.
- Simon: You had the Alliance on you, criminals and savages... Half the people on the ship have been shot or wounded including yourself, and you're harboring known fugitives.
- Mal: Well, we're still flying.
- Simon: That's not much.
- Mal: It's enough.
- Zoë: You never heard of Reavers?
- Simon: Uh, campfire stories - men gone savage on the edge of space, killing...
- Zoë: They're not stories.
- Simon: What happens if they board us?
- Zoë: If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order.
- Jayne: [to Simon] Little Kaylee here just wishes you was a gynecologist.
- [Jayne laughs]
- Mal: Jayne, you will keep a civil tongue in that mouth, or I will sew it shut. Is there an understanding between us?
- Jayne: You don't pay me to talk pretty. Just because Kaylee gets lubed up over some big-city dandy doesn't mean...
- Mal: Walk away from this table. Right now.
- [Jayne loads his plate with food and leaves]
- Simon: What *do* you pay him for?
- Mal: What?
- Simon: I was just wondering what his job is - on the ship.
- Mal: Public relations.
- Kaylee: We're taking on passengers at Persephone?
- Mal: Yeah, that's the notion. Could use a little respectability on the way to Boros. Not to mention the money.
- Jayne: Pain in the ass.
- Kaylee: No, it's shiny! I like to meet new people, they've all got stories...
- Jayne: Captain, can you stop her from bein' cheerful, please?
- Mal: I don't believe there's a power in the 'verse can stop Kaylee from bein' cheerful. Sometimes you just wanna duct-tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.
- Kaylee: [kisses Mal's cheek] I love my captain.
- Simon: I am very smart. I went to the best Medacad in Osiris, top three percent of my class, finished my internship in eight months. "Gifted" is the term. So when I tell you that my little sister makes me look like an idiot child, I want you to understand my full meaning. River was more than gifted. She... she was a gift. Everything she did, music, math, theoretical physics - even-even dance - there was nothing that didn't come as naturally to her as breathing does to us. She could be a real... brat about it, too. I mean, she used to
- [notices the looks on everyone's face; tries to get back to explaining]
- Simon: There was a... a school... a, uh, a government-sponsored academy, we had never even heard of it but it had the most exciting program, the most challenging. We could have sent her anywhere, we had the money, but, she wanted to go. She wanted to learn. She was fourteen.
- [thoughtful pause]
- Simon: I, uh... I got a few letters at first, and then I didn't hear for months. Finally I got a letter that made no sense. She-she talked about things that never happened, jokes that-that we never... It was code. It just said... "They're hurting us. Get me out."
- Zoë: How'd you do it?
- Simon: Money. And-and luck. For two years, I couldn't get near her. Then I was contacted by some men, some underground movement. They-they said that she was in danger, that-that the government was... playing with her brain. If I funded them they could sneak her out in cryo, get her to Persephone, and from there, I could take her... wherever.
- Zoë: Will she be alright?
- Simon: I don't know if she'll be alright. I don't know what they did to her. Or why. I-I just need to keep her safe.
- Patience: [points a shotgun at Mal] Mal, don't you take another step!
- Mal: [shoots the horse Patience is hiding behind, which traps her; points his gun square in the center of her face] Now I did a job; and got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character. So let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job...
- [Mal takes the money from Patience]
- Mal: and then I get paid. Go run your little world.
- Kaylee: [sounding weak, but cheery] Oh, don't you worry none. Doc fixed me up... pretty. He's nice.
- Mal: Don't go working too hard on that crush, mei-mei. Doc won't be with us for long.
- Kaylee: [big smile] You're nice, too.
- Mal: [smiles] No, I'm not. I'm a mean old man.
- Kaylee: He wasn't gonna let me die... He was just trying to... It's nobody's fault.
- [trying to pat his arm, which Mal then reaches for]
- Kaylee: Okay. Just promise me you're gonna remember that.
- Mal: [holding her hand with both of his] I'll keep it in mind.
- Kaylee: You *are* a nice man, Captain. You're always looking after us. You just gotta have faith in people.
- Mal: [under cross-fire] Bendis, look at me! Listen. We're holding this valley, no matter what.
- Bendis: We're gonna die.
- Mal: We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. And you know why? Because we are so... very... pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die. Huh? Look at that chiseled jaw, huh? Come on!
- Lawrence Dobson: You have any idea how much trouble you're in?
- Jayne: Gee, I never been in trouble with the Law before.
- Lawrence Dobson: No, not like this you haven't. You think this is just a smuggling rap? The package that boy is carrying...
- Jayne: It's a girl. She's cute, too. Except I don't think she's all there, you know? 'Course, not all of her has to be.
- Lawrence Dobson: That girl is a precious commodity. They'll come after her. Long after you bury me they'll be coming.
- Jayne: Oh,
- [smiling]
- Jayne: I'm not gonna
- [slaps Dobson's thigh with the knife]
- Jayne: kill you, Dobson. What's your first name?
- Lawrence Dobson: [unsettled; sighs] Lawrence.
- Jayne: Lawrence... Ah. I'm just gonna cut on ya till you tell me how much they know.
- Lawrence Dobson: [rapid fire] They know everything. Every name, every record - they know how many... nose hairs you've got.
- Jayne: [studies his face for a second] Aw, see?
- [gets up; disappointed]
- Jayne: They don't know a damn thing. It's all over your face. I ain't even... I was gonna get me a ear, too. Aren't you an officer of the law? Well don't they teach you how to withstand interrogation? Can't even tell a damn lie.
- Lawrence Dobson: Okay. I can see you're not an idiot.
- Jayne: Wish I could say the same, Lawrence, but this is disappointing as hell.
- Lawrence Dobson: Let me speak a language you will understand - money. This girl is worth a lot of money. I mean a lot. You kill me, there's nothing. But you help me out... you'll have enough to buy your own ship. A better one than this piece of crap.
- Jayne: [quietly] Does helping you out mean turning on the Captain?
- Lawrence Dobson: Yes, it does.
- Jayne Cobb: Ten percent of nothing is, let me do the math here, nothing into nothing, carry the nothin'...
- Mal: Mal: Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.
- Simon: What business is that exactly?
- [pause; Mal turns but doesn't answer]
- Simon: I'm a dead man; I can't know? Is it gold?... Drugs? Pirate treasure? What is that makes you so afraid of the Alliance?
- Mal: You don't want to go down this road with me, boy.
- Simon: Oh, you're not afraid of them? I already know you'd sell me out to them for a pat on the head. Hell, you should probably be working for them. You certainly fit the profil...
- [cut off as Mal punches him, knocks him into the wall and floor; Mal stands over him]
- Jayne: [sounds cocky] Saw that comin'.
- Mal: [on the 'lawman'] Comes time, someone's gonna have to deal with him. That should be you. But I don't think you've got the guts... And I know you don't have the time.
- Simon: What do you mean?
- Mal: [pause; face deadpan, voice serious/grave] Kaylee's dead.
- [Simon doesn't react at first, then he looks a little shocked and afraid; as Mal turns and walks to the Bridge, Simon runs to the infirmary; sees Kaylee, quite alive; she waves at him]
- Simon: [out of breath] That man's psychotic.
- [on bridge, Mal, Jayne, Zoë, and Wash are laughing hysterically]
- Wash: You are psychotic!
- Mal: No! You shoulda seen his face. Oh, I'm a bad man.
- Book: I've been out of the abbey two days. I've beaten a lawman senseless. Fallen in with criminals. I watched the captain shoot the man I swore to protect. And I'm not even sure if I think he was wrong.
- Inara: [softly] Shepherd...
- Book: I believe I just... I think I'm on the wrong ship.
- Inara: Maybe. Or maybe you're exactly where you ought to be.
- Zoë: [speaking quietly] Now we have a boat full of citizens right on top of our... stolen cargo. That's a fun mix.
- Mal: [just as quiet] Ain't no way in the 'verse they could find that compartment, even if
- [stops as someone walks by; continues quieter]
- Mal: even if they were looking for it.
- Zoë: Why not?
- Mal: [short pause] 'Cause.
- Zoë: Oh, yeah. This is gonna go great.
- Mal: If anyone gets nosy, you know, just... shoot 'em.
- Zoë: Shoot 'em?
- Mal: Politely.
- Mal: [to his men, after an explosion knocks half of them down] Just focus! The Alliance said they were gonna waltz through Serenity Valley. And we choked 'em with those words. We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty. Just a little while longer. Our angels are gonna be soaring overhead, raining fire on those arrogant Khags. So you hold.
- [shouts]
- Mal: You hold! Go!
- Kaylee: [hurries to turn off everything in the engine room; climbs up to turn off a light, room becomes pitch black] Okay, now I can't get down.
- Lawrence Dobson: [holding him at gunpoint] Drop that firearm, Captain Reynolds.
- Mal: [tosses the gun and holds his arms up chuckles] This is not my best day ever.
- Lawrence Dobson: Simon Tam, you are ordered by law to stand down.
- [Simon raises his hands in defeat]
- Mal: What? The doctor. Oh. Hey, is there- is there a reward?
- Mal: [tossing her a bar with the Alliance stamp] It's pure, Patience. Genuine "A" grade foodstuffs-protein, vitamins, immunization supplements. One of those will feed a family for a month. Longer if they don't like their kids too well.
- Wash: You're lost in the woods. We all are. Even the captain. The only difference is he likes it that way.
- Zoë: I know something ain't right.
- Wash: Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail.
- Zoë: It's just that the Captain's so tense.
- Wash: The man needs a break. In fact,
- [starts lightly rubbing her back]
- Wash: we could all use a couple of days leave.
- Zoë: We still gotta drop the goods.
- Wash: And when we do, we'll fly off to Boros, rich and prosperous - well, less poor. But with enough to find some sweet little getaway.
- Zoë: Oh, wouldn't mind a real bath.
- Wash: Yeah, and a meal that included some form of food. Just a couple of days lying around. You with the bathing,
- [pulls her close]
- Wash: me with the watching you bathe.
- Zoë: Well, if the Captain says it's alright...
- Wash: What if we just told Mal we need a couple of days 'stead of asking him?
- Zoë: He's the Captain, Wash.
- Wash: Right; and I'm just the Husband.
- Zoë: Look, I'll ask him.
- Wash: Don't forget to call him "sir". He likes that.
- Mal: [walking in] Who likes what?
- Zoë: It's nothing, sir.
- [Wash smiles sarcastically and gives her a thumbs up]
- Simon: So, does it happen a lot? Government commandeering your ship, telling you where to go?
- Mal: That's what governments are for - get in a man's way.
- Lawrence Dobson: Well, it's good, if the supplies are needed.
- Jayne: We're just happy to be doin' good works.
- Mal: Got me a boatload of terribly strange folk makin' my life a little more interesting than I generally like. Chief among them an Alliance mole - likes to shot at girls when he's nervous.