Farscape (TV Series)

We're So Screwed: Part 2: Hot to Katratzi (2003)

Ben Browder: John Crichton

Quotes 

• Emperor Staleek : A fission bomb.

  [Staleek's guards start to approach Chrichton] 

  Emperor Staleek : Put those down!

  John Crichton : Nice threads. You must be the Emperor. Now, before anybody decides to get clever, you should know I have multiple dead-man sensors from every culture on my ship and a few cultures I haven't heard of. My heart stops, we all go boom. My heart speeds up, it's boom again. Too hot, too cold, too happy, too sad, thirsty, hungry, bored... it's John Lee Hooker Time... boom, boom, boom. And you try your little psychic trick... kaboom... and we're all pushing up day-glow daisies.

• John Crichton : Hey, Braca! You look a little lost.

  Aeryn Sun : Does Mummy know you're here?

  John Crichton : Does Mummy know he's Scorpius' boy?

  [Braca looks surprised] 

  John Crichton : Ooh, nooo... Mummy doesn't know.

• John Crichton : [about Minister Akhna]  Thanks. She scares the crap out of me.

  Aeryn Sun : It's the hat.

• John Crichton : Guys! I apologize in advance for any incivility or insensitivity on my part, but it is beer o'clock... Where the hell is my riot?

• John Crichton : Nothing like a bomb to sober you up.

• [John explains why he has interrupted a meeting of two groups that want to kill him] 

  John Crichton : Because I am an American. And what does an American want? Democracy? Capitalism. I want to sell out and settle down. For one day only, it's a blue light special on Aisle Three. My wormhole technology... and a free set of steak knives... for all the tea in China. And anything you can imagine to pay me... welcome to my cold war.

• John Crichton : I am Johnny Radiation because of you, Nosferatu. Everyone I care about west of the moon is here and in danger to make sure that you keep your mouth shut.