- [Mother Winslow judo-flips a hood]
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: You should have seen me when I had two good hips!
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl's a good man. But we don't know anything about Vanessa. She might be a sex-crazed vixen.
- Harriette Winslow: What makes you think that a woman cop can't defend herself, *or* you?
- Carl Winslow: Well for one thing they're a lot smaller, and they can't run as fast.
- [the kids pass along a pickle jar nobody can open]
- Carl Winslow: And most of them lack upper body strength.
- [tries to open the jar and can't, Harriette twists the lid off effortlessly]
- Carl Winslow: Well I loosened it for you.
- Laura Winslow: I can't believe it, my own father a male chauvinist.
- Eddie Winslow: Chauvinist? I thought we were Baptists!