Family Guy (TV Series)

Jungle Love (2005)

Seth Green: Chris Griffin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Joe Swanson : Chris, what are you all dressed up for?

  Chris Griffin : These are my back-to-school clothes. I start high school tomorrow!

  Cleveland Brown : Oh, boy. You better watch out for the Freshman Hunt.

  Joe Swanson : Yeah, that's where seniors hunt down freshmen and nail them with paddles.

  Peter Griffin : Aw, man, remember how much fun that was, beatin' those freshmen silly?

  Joe Swanson : [laughing with the guys]  Oh, yeah.

  Chris Griffin : You're not serious, are you?

  Peter Griffin : Chris, I'm just as serious as I was when I saw Paul Reiser do stand-up.

• Chris Griffin : [Peter has the villagers re-enact an episode of "Seinfeld"]  Dad, I have had enough of you taking advantage of these people. For God's sakes, the woman playing Elaine is a high priestess!

  Peter Griffin : I don't have to take that from you. I'm the richest guy in town!

  Chris Griffin : Dad, don't you see? This is a wonderful place, and you're just using it to escape from your problems at home.

  Peter Griffin : What do you mean? Meg's right there.

  Lois Griffin : But, Chris, honey, aren't you doing the same thing?

  Chris Griffin : What do you mean?

  Lois Griffin : I mean you just came here because you were being picked on at school. You're using these people to escape your problems.

  Chris Griffin : Oh, my God! You're right. I married this 11-year-old girl for all the wrong reasons! I'm sorry, Loca. I guess I just came here because I was afraid of being a freshman.

  Chieftain : Freshman?

  Chris Griffin : [the villagers start chasing them]  I guess you can't run away from your problems anywhere!

  Peter Griffin : [running toward a docked seaplane]  Jock, start the engine! Get the plane up!

  [as they run toward the water a la "Raiders of the Lost Ark," the plane starts up and they all manage to get aboard] 

  Brian Griffin : Uh, Peter, I think we forgot Meg.

  [standing on the edge of the water, Meg falls over, revealing a number of blowdarts in her back] 

• Chris Griffin : Hi, Mom and Dad! Everybody, this is my wife, Loca. We're married.

  Lois Griffin : Well, maybe here, but not in America, where God pays attention.

• Brian Griffin : You can't run away from your problems, Chris. That's what I tried to do. I joined the Peace Corps, and a day later, I was two continents away.

  Chris Griffin : Really?

  Brian Griffin : [as he talks, Chris packs a suitcase]  Yep. But 6,000 miles and all the dope I could smoke still couldn't separate me from my problems. And this was good dope. I mean, it-it was growing everywhere. Oh, my God, this one time, this one time, we got so baked, we ended up eating all the food the World Health Organization had airlifted in. Man, those villagers were so pissed. They tried to chase us, but let me just say, thank God for polio.

  [closing the case, Chris leaves] 

  Brian Griffin : Anyway, my point is that...

  [seeing he's gone] 

  Brian Griffin : Huh.

  Sandy Duncan : [coming in]  Hey, is Peter here? I wanna re-hire him. My new eye isn't working out.

  Glenn Quagmire : [as her glass eye]  Hey, Wheat Thins, take your top off!

• Chris Griffin : [nervous about his first day of high school]  Uh, I think I'm coming down with something.

  Lois Griffin : Chris, relax. The Freshman Hunt doesn't really exist. It's just a myth to scare freshmen.

  Chris Griffin : Really? Oh, boy, that's a relief.

  Lois Griffin : Now, have a good day at school, sweetie.

  [as he gets out, she honks the car horn] 

  Lois Griffin : FRESHMAN!

• Lois Griffin : Hey, Chris. Was school any better today?

  Chris Griffin : No! I hate it! I never wanna go back!

  Lois Griffin : Oh, come on, it'll get better. You just have to find your place. Let's go, Stewie. Time to change your diaper.

  Stewie Griffin : I'm not worried about high school at all. Worst-case scenario, I'll carve out a niche as the effeminate male friend of the popular girls.

• [Chris calls home after joining the Peace Corps] 

  Lois Griffin : Hello?

  Chris Griffin : Hi, Mom!

  [Peter joins the call] 

  Peter Griffin : Chris, buddy, thank God you're okay!

  Chris Griffin : Hi, Dad!

  Peter Griffin : Hey, this has been driving me crazy. Who was the chick on "Remington Steele"?

  [Stewie joins the call] 

  Stewie Griffin : Hello?

  Chris Griffin : Stephanie Zimbalist?

  Stewie Griffin : No, Stewie Griffin. Who's this?

  Peter Griffin : [responding to Chris]  Thank you!

  Lois Griffin : Chris, what are you doing down there?

  Chris Griffin : Relax, Mom. I'm having a great time!

  Stewie Griffin : [annoyed]  You people knocked me off the modem!

  Lois Griffin : When are you coming home?

  Peter Griffin : How's the food in South America?

  Stewie Griffin : Do the women there have exposed cliteratti?

  Chris Griffin : I'll be home in a month, after people have forgotten I'm a freshman.

  Lois Griffin : Well... Please just take care of yourself, honey.

  [Meg joins the call] 

  Meg Griffin : Hey, guys. Is everyone on the phone?

  Chris Griffin : I gotta go.

  [disconnects] 

  Lois Griffin : Something's in the oven.

  [disconnects] 

  Peter Griffin : I lost a shoe.

  [disconnects] 

  Stewie Griffin : Don't leave me on the phone with her!

  Meg Griffin : Stewie?

  Stewie Griffin : [faking being interested]  Hey... . How's school?

  Meg Griffin : [sweetly]  Hi, Stewie.

  Stewie Griffin : Listen, I am swamped... but Mom has kept me up to date on everything you're doing... and I think it's just great. Hanging up now.

  [disconnects, groans]