Family Guy (TV Series)

Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High (2005)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Vincent Van Gogh, Music Teacher, Ben Affleck, Man in Car, Fish, Bear

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lois Griffin : Look, Stewie, a note. You know, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris' pocket. She's more respectful than that.

  Stewie Griffin : Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.

• Lois Griffin : So, Chris, what's the latest with your little girlfriend?

  Chris Griffin : Oh, I don't think Mrs. Lockhart likes me at all.

  Lois Griffin : Mrs. Lockhart? Your teacher?

  Peter Griffin : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Lois, this is not my Batman glass.

  Lois Griffin : Peter, are you listening? Chris has a crush on his teacher.

  Meg Griffin : Ew, gross!

  Stewie Griffin : You know what else is gross?

  [farts, and his eye turns dark red] 

  Stewie Griffin : AAHH! BROKE A DAMN BLOOD VESSEL!

• Fish 1 : You know what I hate? A Guy in a blue suit.

  [a dead man in a blue suit floats behind him] 

  Fish 2 : Ohh!

  Fish 1 : There's one behind me isn't there?

• Stewie Griffin : Hey! Do you have any idea what time it is? Get in the house, fatty!

• Lana Lockhart : It's good to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Griffin.

  Lois Griffin : Well, we wanted to talk to you about our son. You see, Chris really...

  Peter Griffin : Lois, honey, let's make sure we do this delicately, all right? Mrs. Lockhart, our son... would like... to plow you.

• Lois Griffin : [When they think Chris has murdered someone]  Chris, we know what you did.

  Chris Griffin : You mean that I lied about my age to get into an Indian casino?

  Lois Griffin : No.

  Chris Griffin : You mean that one time I had hard gas and pooed myself?

  Peter Griffin : Close, but no.

  Stewie Griffin : How is that close?

• Stewie Griffin : Can we stop by the grocery store? I want a granny smith apple.