- Julie Miller: I don't want you to be upset.
- Doris Schwartz: Julie, nobody wants to be upset. What I wanna be is tall, thin, gorgeous with enormous breasts, no brains and a very promising career. What I am, however, is upset.
- Mr. Schwartz: It smells delicious. Last time I got a meal like this, it cost me 16 boxes of Girl Scout cookies.
- Doris Schwartz: Well, it isn't gonna cost you anything. Except maybe a little pride. So dig in.
- Mr. Schwartz: [mock searching his pockets] I better see if I can afford it, pride is expensive these days.
- Doris Schwartz: Dad, do you know what Saturday is?
- Mr. Schwartz: Anybody knows that. Saturday is the light at the end of the tunnel.
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: Martelli, are you okay? It sounded like a wounded animal in here.
- Bruno Martelli: I'm fine. There's this piece of music that's begging to be put out of its misery.
- Doris Schwartz: If I asked you to give me a hug, a fatherly hug, what would you say?
- Angelo Martelli: I wouldn't say a thing.
- [opens his arms]
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: Our lives are spent trying to impress those who have impressed us the most.
- Bruno Martelli: [Bruno hasn't got a clue what this means] Mr. Shorofsky, it's been a long day...
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: It's only second period. Never mind, scooch over. Let me futz with it.
- Bruno Martelli: Futz with it?
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: That's advanced musical terminology. You'll get it next semester.
- [sits down at Bruno's synthesizer and hits the keys]
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: Martelli, make this thing sound like a piano or I'm leaving.
- Lydia Grant: Do you know she invited Louise Stefanovich to the dance recital?
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: [exclaiming] Not Louise Stefanovich!
- Elizabeth Sherwood: [turning from Shorofsky to Lydia nervously] Did she say Louise Stefanovich?
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: I'm afraid so.
- [calmer]
- Mr. Benjamin Shorofsky: So, who is Louise Stefanovich.