- Quentin Morloch: If one of you is even thinking about pulling your usual substitute scams on Miss Daniels, I must remind you that she was once a student here herself and anything that you could possibly think of, she probably invented.
- Quentin Morloch: There may be an explanation for one tardy. There may even be an excuse for two. But six? It better be the Song of Songs with the original cast.
- Benjamin Shorofsky: That was good. Really. The problem is: in the music world, 'good' will get you four weddings and six Bar Mitzvah's per month. If by any chance your dreams soar any higher than that, I suggest you spend more time in the rehearsal.
- Quentin Morloch: [playing Trivial Persuit] Who played 'Little Beaver' in the 'Red Rider' movie series?
- Benjamin Shorofsky: You're making that up!
- Lydia Grant: [sighs] They don't call me Mother Theresa for nothing. Just wish they wouldn't keep forgetting the Theresa part.
- Miss Sherwood: This gentleman and I will have our holiday in San Juan.
- Miss Daniels: Holiday? What holiday is coming up?
- Miss Sherwood: When I get that man to San Juan, you better believe it's gonna be a holiday.