Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Series)

Look Don't Touch (1996)

Patricia Heaton: Debra Barone

Photos 

Quotes 

• Debra Barone : Would you sleep with her if we weren't married?

  Ray Barone : What? No! No. No. No!

  Debra Barone : Let's just pretend I didn't exist.

  Ray Barone : I don't like this ride. It's scary.

  Debra Barone : What are you afraid of?

  Ray Barone : Look, if you didn't exist I'd never meet another woman because I'd be a sailor. I'd sail. I'd just sail around the world by myself married to the salt and the sea.

  Debra Barone : Man, okay, just forget it. Good grief. I was just kidding.

  Ray Barone : All right.

  Debra Barone : Okay, so you're a sailor. You pull into the port of Queens to take on supplies and you go ashore to Nemo's. You're lonely from this long journey and you come upon this lovely pizza wench. Would you sleep with her?

  Ray Barone : You don't exist?

  Debra Barone : It's like It's A Wonderful Life. There's no Debra.

  Ray Barone : Well, then it's not a wonderful life, is it?

• Ray Barone : [on the phone]  Hello? Yes, he is. May I ask who's calling? Okay, just a minute. Angelina.

  Ray Barone : Angelina? Don't know anyone by that name.

  Debra Barone : Does he know what this is regarding? Okay, yeah thanks for calling. Bye-bye. She's got your wallet.

  Ray Barone : What? My wallet?

  Debra Barone : Yeah. It's at Nemo's.

  Ray Barone : I didn't go to Nemo's.

  Debra Barone : Well your wallet made it there somehow. Do you have your wallet? Ray, she said she just waited on you.

  Ray Barone : Oh Nemo's Nemo's, yeah. Might have been a waitress over there. Even though we usually go to the counter. But today Nemo forced us into this table, where the waitresses go. So we had to have a waitress. Not *have* a waitress. We uh we had waitress service.

  Debra Barone : So how pretty is she?

  Ray Barone : I didn't say she was pretty.

  Debra Barone : You didn't have to. You're being so defensive about it. My gosh, you'd think there was something going on.

  Ray Barone : [laughs uncomfortably]  No, no, no, no. no, no, no.

  Debra Barone : You're a freak.

  Ray Barone : What? What did I do?

  Debra Barone : Come on, can't you be honest? I mean, look Ray, if you saw someone pretty today, you could tell me.

  Ray Barone : I saw nothing.

  Debra Barone : Wow, she must be beautiful.

  Ray Barone : Look, she's Nemo's niece. How beautiful can she be? You've seen Nemo. All right, some men might find her attractive. Nothing like you, though.

  [Debra glares at Ray] 

  Ray Barone : Which means that you are the more attractive one. I... I have the right to an attorney.

• Debra Barone : Ray, wake up!

  Ray Barone : There's pudding everywhere!

• [Marie thinks Ray might have an affair] 

  Debra Barone : Marie, I'm not worried. I trust Ray.

  Marie Barone : Oh, I'm not worried about Raymond either, dear. I'm worried about that pizza parlor putana!