Everybody Hates Chris (TV Series)

Everybody Hates Fat Mike (2005)

Chris Rock: Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : [when Chris, Tonya and Drew mess up the house]  Black people didn't go this crazy again till the L.A. riots!

• Narrator : Because unemployment was so high, the dads all knew each other 'cause they were the only men going to work in the morning. Between these four dads, they had 16 jobs and worked 492 hours a week!

• Narrator : I got a new bike when we moved. Now before 13-year-olds started driving Bentleys, a new bike was pretty impressive.

• Narrator : Mr. Hutchins had two grandsons who wouldn't move out. They're holding out like, "Last one dies gets the apartment."

• Narrator : Mr. Parrish's wife cheated on him, so he was always checking to see if his kids looked like him. He was the first man in Bed-Stuy to get a DNA test.

• Narrator : In case you didn't know, when a criminal says, "Let me hold something," that means you're never getting it back.

• Narrator : There were about ten Mikes in my neighborhood. Big Head Mike spent more time in jail than out of jail. White Mike was just a white guy who lived on the block. Family didn't have enough money to leave. Tall Mike played ball. Monster Mike just scared kids. And Mike Mike was actually the first Mike that lived on the block, but his real name was Paul.

• Narrator : My father was the oldest of 10 brothers and sisters. He had been cooking and cleaning all of his life, but even if the job wasn't that hard, he's not supposed to say it.

• Tanya Rock : Can I set Chris on fire?

  Julius : No, baby, don't set Chris on fire, okay?

  Narrator : At least this time she asked for permission.