- Daisy Duke: [much taken with 'the Duke'] You sure are cool and easy under pressure, cousin Gaylord. I just love it!
- The Balladeer: [as Sheriff Rosco jumps out from behind a tree to arrest everybody in sight] Ain't that typical? The Dukes start out to help somebody and they get their own tails in a crack.
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [on police radio] Enos, this is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane. I got them Duke boys this time! I really got 'em! We're gonna come down on those turkeys like a load of dead chickens!
- [snickers]
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: I love it, I love it!
- The Balladeer: [voice-over] Now Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane would rather catch himself a Duke than to go to heaven when he dies. Some folks tend to lose their perspective like that.
- The Balladeer: [re glib Duke Gaylord Duke] You know, I got a feeling that there's more going on here than meets the eye. Besides, I tend to get nervous when somebody is around that might take advantage of our Daisy...
- Daisy Duke: Oh, Enos! Hi!
- [waves]
- Enos: Dang, dang, Daisy. It's good to see you, but my orders say no visitors.
- Daisy Duke: Well, I figured they must be gettin' awful hungry workin' as hard as they are. And I know you wouldn't mind if I brought 'em some of my fried chicken.
- Enos: Well, I guess it would be all right, Daisy. Sure beats that creamed chip beef stuff we've been serving over at the jailhouse.
- Daisy Duke: Why, I bet you're hungry, too, ain't you, sugar?
- Enos: Well, I sure am partial to your fried chicken, Daisy.
- Daisy Duke: Aw... which part are you most partial to? My legs, my thighs, or my...
- Enos: Neck! Neck, that's my favorite. That's my favorite part, Daisy. Your neck. I love your neck, Daisy. I mean, chicken neck.
- [bites into it]
- Enos: I love fried chicken.
- Daisy Duke: [while the Dukes rip off his car] I could get you a lot more chicken...
- Enos: Possum on a gum bush, Daisy! I believe your cousins are stealing my car!
- Gaylord Duke: [rounding off his capture of the entire Duke clan by tying up Daisy's high-heeled feet] Well, there'll be no need for gags I imagine. Shout all you will, I don't think anybody will hear you up here.
- Luke Duke: You ain't heard the last of us yet.
- Bo Duke: Just remember that.
- Uncle Jesse: You picked the wrong family to double-deal, and don't you think we're gonna sit still for it.
- Daisy Duke: I could just wash my mouth out with soap for the things I said to you.
- Gaylord Duke: I love the things you said, Daisy. And I'm very sorry I hurt you. Cheerio, Daisy.
- Uncle Jesse: [Daisy tearfully recollects the heartache caused by the scoundrel] Now, Daisy, quit ripping yourself up over a no-account like that.
- Daisy Duke: Ripping myself up? Uncle Jesse, it's that no-account that's gonna get himself ripped up when I catch him!
- Uncle Jesse: [chuckles] That's my Daisy!
- Luke Duke: [Gaylord tries making a run for it] Let's get after him!
- Daisy Duke: Wait a minute, fellas! This one is mine!
- The Balladeer: Now this ain't over yet, folks... Not when a girl like Daisy's still got cotton to chop and a rooster to pluck.
- [Daisy slides gracefully into welded-doors General Lee, and pulls away with steaming white hot burning rubber]
- Uncle Jesse: Well, let's go! This is gonna be fun!
- Daisy Duke: [General Lee in hot pursuit] Sorry, Mister, next time you meet a lady, you better learn some manners!
- Daisy Duke: Give me those, Enos.
- [takes the cuffs]
- Daisy Duke: Nothing's worth doing unless you finish it yourself.
- [walks down to the stranded car to apprehend 'the Duke' herself]
- Daisy Duke: Ain't it a shame? We're never gonna know what we missed.
- [slaps the cuffs on him]
- Gaylord Duke: [ruefully] Daisy, I know exactly what I've missed.
- The Balladeer: [voice-over] As for Daisy, it will take time for her to get over a man that she really set her heart on... until the next time.
- Boss Hogg: [in his office, exercising with a pair of dumbbells, frustrated at Rosco and Enos for making yet another mistake] You know, I sure can't figure out why I bought these here dumbbells when I already have two working for me.
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [trying to explain] Uh, boss, you see...
- Boss Hogg: [interrupting him] Never mind! As County Commissioner, I hereby relieve you both of all your duties. Turn in them badges.
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [believing he did nothing wrong] Uh boss now listen, why should I turn in my badge?
- [points at Enos, standing beside him]
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: It was dipstick Enos's fault for letting them Duke boys escape - for a bucket of chicken! He still even smells 'Finger Lickin' Good'!
- [Boss Hogg sniffs and drops dumbbells on Rosco's feet]
- Enos: [willing to accept the blame] Sheriff's right Mr. Hogg. I'm the one who ought to lose my badge...
- [gesturing to Rosco]
- Enos: ... not him.
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: You see! You see that? You see...
- Boss Hogg: [knowing Rosco and Enos are both incompetent] Rosco, all I can see is Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
- Enos: [confused] Tweedle...
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [glares at Enos, cutting him off] Dumb. You're dumb.