Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (TV Series)

A Civil War (1994)

Jason Alexander: Eric Duckman

Quotes 

• Val de Ree : There seems to be a suspicion that Stanley's death involved foul play. Clearly there's nothing to support that theory, but the insurance company is insisting on an investigation. They won't even let me move the body until it's proven that he died of natural causes. Do you think you can help me?

  Eric Duckman : Uh, sorry, I - I didn't hear you. I was staring at your breasts.

  Val de Ree : I understand. They're very supple, I'm told.

• Eric Duckman : I'll be tireless in my efforts, for Duckman doesn't know the meaning of the word "quit."

  Cornfed Pig : Apparently, the word "clue" slipped through the cracks as well.

• Eric Duckman : Bunch of thin-skinned, no-humor pansies! You tell them an ice-breaker or two about women's libbers, gays, environmentalists, several minorities, the homeless, couple of religions, anorexics, obese people, the handicapped, old farts, baldness, and people who walk real goofy because they've just had a vasectomy, and suddenly, they get all sensitive, like I offended one of them or something!