- Eddie Charles: Beef with Broccoli.
- Martin Tupper: Ah... Kung Pao Chicken. Ah... Garlic Shrimp...
- Eddie Charles: Beef with Broccoli. Beef with Broccoli! BEEF WITH BROCCOLI!
- Martin Tupper: Three Beef with Broccoli.
- Eddie Charles: ...and appetizers... Get appetizers!
- Martin Tupper: ...And egg rolls... Two orders... Four orders!... and ah... extra mustard.
- Toby Pedalbee: [Judith and Martin are discussing what to do about the joint found in their son Jeremy's bedroom, when Toby bursts in] 'Scuse me, I couldn't help but overhear.
- Martin Tupper: Maybe that's because you were listening on the intercom.
- Toby Pedalbee: Right, so I couldn't help but overhear. You want my advice? Buy the kid a pony... My friend Mary Elizabeth always wanted a pony, but her parents wouldn't spring for one. By the time she was sixteen, she was smokin' so much dope, Panama named a highway after her. They caught her in a hot Maserati, sent her up for a couple-a years. Now she's got a file with the FBI, and a tattoo on her butt that says, "Marge".
- Martin Tupper: [Jeremy comes by unexpectedly and Martin and Eddie try to hide evidence that they've been smoking pot] I thought you were staying at Franklin's.
- Eddie Charles: Oh, I am. I just came up to pick up my GameBoy... Smells funny in here.
- Martin Tupper, Eddie Charles: No, no, I don't smell anything, no...
- Jeremy Tupper: Yeah, yeah. It smells like... school.