- Jack: [on having a baby] They pulled it out and the doctor said, "It's a boy!" I said, "Honey, it's a boy!", and then I looked and I, I got confused for a second because of that umbilical cord, I thought, "Whoa! That's no boy, that's a MAN!"
- Kevin: But the cats are, um, I take 'em with me a lot of places, and I'll, I'll smuggle them onto the plane, 'cause you're only allowed to bring one on, actually. I have four, so I'll smuggle them on, and it's uncomfortable and it's stressful.
- [clears throat]
- Kevin: What I do is, I put them in a balloon, I swallow them, and then I, y'know, crap 'em out later. So y'know, it's stressful for me, and for the cats, but it's worth it.
- Ben Katz: [wearing a raccoon cap] Man, it itches. Yeah, I'm allergic to raccoon. But y'know, when I take it off, it leaves a great rash. What do you think? I wear this around...
- Dr. Katz: Do you know, you know how many raccoons died to make that one hat?
- Ben Katz: Dad...
- Dr. Katz: Do you know that?
- Ben Katz: No, I don't.
- Dr. Katz: One raccoon.
- Ben Katz: [chuckles] Really?
- Dr. Katz: Yeah, it's not SO bad a ratio.