- Ben Katz: Let's say make him, maybe, make him a cake. But I don't know how to make cakes, do you?
- Laura the Receptionist: Um hmm.
- Ben Katz: [with lovey-dovey imagery] Well, if you were there you could, uh... "guide" me. Like when you're making the frosting, we'd both have our hands in the bowl... together...
- Laura the Receptionist: And we'd get it on our noses, and then we'd laugh...
- Ben Katz: Really?
- Laura the Receptionist: No. I don't think so.
- Dom Irrera: I was sittin' home, watchin' Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, and I was playin' with my balls.
- Dr. Katz: Yeah.
- Dom Irrera: That don't make me gay, right?
- Dr. Katz: Not at all.
- Dom Irrera: I start twistin' and yankin' on 'em like a big ape, and I was curious to see how many twists I could get without actually snapping a whole ball sack off.
- Dr. Katz: Wait, let me guess.
- Dom Irrera: I got four and an eighth, and my body starts turning the other way, that's about it, y'know?
- Dom Irrera: See, I just found out today that you're a "doctor" doctor. Could you get me something to help me with my anxiety, or...?
- Dr. Katz: Absolutely, I can write you a script for an anti-anxiety medication, a low dosage, with no refills.
- Dom Irrera: Huh. Seems like it comes with all the perks. Could you give me anything to help me with, you know, my heartbeat? To raise it to a point of, like, a rabbit's?
- Dr. Katz: ...You'd like your heart to beat like a rabbit?
- Dom Irrera: I'd like to lose some weight, doc.
- Dr. Katz: Yeah, but that's not the way to do it: Take a pill that speeds up your heart.
- Dom Irrera: Do I look like I'm gonna have a heart attack now?
- Dr. Katz: No, you don't.
- Dom Irrera: 'Cause I feel like I might, not right now, but towards the end of the session.
- Dr. Katz: Okay, well, just let me know.