Doc Martin (TV Series)

Haemophobia (2004)

Martin Clunes: Dr. Martin Ellingham

Quotes 

• Dr. Martin Ellingham : Any complications?

  Adrian Pitts : A tiny bit of pancreatic leak but nothing more.

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : Secondary spleen?

  Adrian Pitts : There was, actually; and, yes, sir, I was careful to leave it.

• [Martin and Louisa are in the back of a taxi. Louisa leans over and kisses Martin passionately] 

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : I'm assuming you have a regular dental hygiene routine.

  Louisa Glasson : Well obviously not in the last few hours, but thank you very much - yes I have.

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : Well that would suggest rhinositis or gastro-oesophagal reflux.

  Louisa Glasson : Are you saying I've got bad breath?

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : I just think it would be wise to rule out any infections of the aero-digestive tract. Obviously a dietary explanation would be the happiest outcome.

  [Louisa looks very offended. She gets the taxi to stop, and makes Martin get out and walk] 

• [a woman phones in to Caroline Bosman's radio programme and asks whether it is true that Dr Ellingham hates the sight of blood] 

  Bert Large : [listening to programme in the pub]  Doc Martin'll see the funny side, he'll just go with the flow.

  Caroline Bosman : Welcome to Radio Portwenn, you're talking to Caro...

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : [phoning in to Caroline's radio programme]  This is Doctor Martin Ellingham. I'd like to get a few things crystal clear for you and your puerile listeners. I admit to having certain difficulties but they have not and they never will impair my functions as a doctor. And the incident with a certain village plumber was in fact a prank with some *ketchup* which, I might add, kept me from attending to patients in my surgery.

  [ranting] 

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : As to the so-called homeopathic remedies, if there's one for chronic infantilism then I suggest that your caller and the entire village embark on a course immediately! Thank you!

  [in the pub, Bert and the others realise their prank went too far] 

• Louisa Glasson : So how come you got a thing about blood?

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : It's just a minor anxiety disorder resulting from overexposure to a high-pressure environment.

  Louisa Glasson : Surgery.

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : [nods]  I was operating on a woman one day. Simple procedure. I went to see her in the ward beforehand. Her family were there; her husband, her sister and her son; and they were clinging to her. Wouldn't let go. Next time I saw her she was prepped and laid out before me on the operating table and I couldn't do it. I haven't been able to operate since actually, which is a shame because it's the only thing I was ever any good at.

• Peter Cronk : I have done some reading.

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : Have you done a medical degree?

  Peter Cronk : No.

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : Well, shut up then.

• Adrian Pitts : I heard the big chief was here.

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : How's the boy? No, tell his mother first - her name's...

  Adrian Pitts , Dr. Martin Ellingham : [together]  Joy.

  Adrian Pitts : Yes, we do know the drill.

• Dr. Martin Ellingham : Where does it hurt?

  Peter Cronk : I'm all right.

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : When you're the doctor you can make that judgement. Where does it hurt?

  Peter Cronk : It doesn't.

• Peter Cronk : I was wrong. Intercostal sprain.

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : Well, we'll see. Let's get you to the hospital, you might be right.

  Peter Cronk : No. You tell the truth. Most adults... you tell the truth.

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : OK, Peter, I think when you fell in the gym you may have hurt one of your important organs. You have some shoulder-tip pain on your left side so I suspect that it's the spleen.

  Peter Cronk : You can live without your spleen, can't you?

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : Yes, you can. but you may be bleeding inside so that's why we're getting you to the hospital.

  Peter Cronk : Am I going to be OK?

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : If I have anything to do with it, yes.

• Louisa Glasson : What are you doing? He's nine years old.

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : All right. Take him to the hospital.

  Louisa Glasson : What?

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : Obviously nine-year-olds and nursery teachers know better than I do. Take him to the hospital, have him checked over there.

• Neville : So I don't need a blood test?

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : You have an ear infection, Neville.

• [about to perform life-saving surgery on Peter Cronk in the back of an ambulance] 

  Dr. Martin Ellingham : I may vomit.