- Ted Harris: "Pickles" - that's an odd name. I never heard anybody called Pickles before.
- Pickles Sorrell: Yes, it is a strange name, but you see my real name is Fiona, and at my neighborhood everyone named Fiona is called Pickles.
- Ted Harris: Were there many Fionas in your neighborhood?
- Pickles Sorrell: Just me.
- Rob Petrie: Whadda ya say we cut the jokes and get some work done around here?
- Buddy Sorrell: Yeah, all right. Forget the jokes - we gotta write a comedy show. No funny stuff.
- Buddy Sorrell: Look, have you noticed somethin' funny goin' on around here?
- Mel Cooley: No, and that includes the scripts.
- [Rob reveals Mel and Buddy eavesdropping at the door]
- Buddy Sorrell: Do you mind closing the door. We'd like a little privacy.
- Buddy Sorrell: Go ahead, honey. Tell 'em what a terrible cook you are.
- Pickles Sorrell: Well, my mother's known as the worst cook in the whole neighborhood and she taught me everything she knows.
- Buddy Sorrell: Boy, you haven't lived till you've tried her boiled steaks, with hot water sauce.
- Rob Petrie: Sally, you know, you have wonderful taste. That's a beautiful blouse you're wearing this morning there.
- Sally Rogers: You like it? It's yours.
- Mel Cooley: What's this "something funny going on?"
- Buddy Sorrell: [highly agitated] Well, i-i-it's about Sally and Rob. W-where do ya think they are now?
- Mel Cooley: Well, how do I know?
- Buddy Sorrell: Out to lunch!
- Mel Cooley: Well, what's funny about that?
- Buddy Sorrell: I'm not with 'em, am I? And when I said I'd like to go along, Rob said, "Oh, no - two's company, three's a crowd."
- Mel Cooley: I guess sometimes your best friends WILL tell you.
- Rob Petrie: You wouldn't think I was over-dramatizing if you'd seen the look on her face when she kissed me.
- Laura Petrie: She KISSED you?
- Rob Petrie: Yes.
- Laura Petrie: Where?
- Rob Petrie: Right in the office.
- Rob Petrie: Hey, Mel? How about a little poker game Thursday night?
- Mel Cooley: Oh, fine. Who're the players gonna be? No women, I hope.
- Sally Rogers: Nyah!
- Rob Petrie: No, just Buddy, me and Sally.
- Mel Cooley: Count on me.
- Rob Petrie: Hey, Sal, you smell GOOD today.
- Sally Rogers: I do?
- Buddy Sorrell: Why not? The best Bay Rum money can buy.
- Rob Petrie, Buddy Sorrell: I think it's time we appreciated having a bright attractive gal around the office.
- Buddy Sorrell: Yeah. When is she gonna start work here?