Dharma & Greg (TV Series)

Pilot (1997)

Alan Rachins: Larry Finkelstein

Photos 

Quotes 

• Young Dharma : Leo, Sagittarius, and Aries.

  Abby O'Neil : Very good. Now the water signs.

  Young Dharma : Pisces, Scorpio... Abby, look. Policemen.

  Larry Finkelstein : And what do we say to policemen?

  Young Dharma : I have a Fourth Amendment right prohibiting you from conducting an unreasonable search.

  Larry Finkelstein : [offering her the "down low" hand slap]  Yeah. Give me some skin.

• Larry Finkelstein : Hey, Abby, if you're not coming back, I'm gonna eat the apple...

  [entering naked and seeing Greg] 

  Larry Finkelstein : Hello!

  [he hurries back out] 

  Greg Montgomery : Let me guess, that's your father.

  Abby O'Neil : Yeah. He's posing for Adam. Listen, Dharma, when Larry comes back out, let's say the two of you are living together, okay? It's not you, Greg. It's Larry. He's opposed to marriage. He hates that natural love has been co-opted by the "fascist state."

• Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : Larry, this is Greg.

  Abby O'Neil : Yeah, and they are about to have sex, so we should probably leave.

  Larry Finkelstein : [Greg offers a handshake, but he slaps hands instead]  Dig it.

  Abby O'Neil : He's cute, don't you think?

  Larry Finkelstein : I smell a lawyer.

• Larry Finkelstein : I can't believe my daughter got married, and to a fed.

  Abby O'Neil : Calm down, Larry.

  Larry Finkelstein : This is your fault, Abby. "Let her get an Easy-Bake Oven. What harm will it do?"

  Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : I'm the one who made the decision, Larry. I'm an adult now.

  Larry Finkelstein : I know, baby. But I don't want to see you living in a house with a fence and a car that you drive kids to soccer practice in. Come on. We raised you better than that.

• Abby O'Neil : Where are you going?

  Larry Finkelstein : I'm going out for ice cream.

  Abby O'Neil : You just had a whole bag of pretzels.

  Larry Finkelstein : That was salty. I need sweet.